Crucified Self

2007-07-27T21:11:00.000-07:00

ok so i switched over to word press. my knew page is

la recap

2007-07-27T10:23:00.000-07:00

ok so i know it's been a while since i've las posted, so here it is. it's really hard to sit down and to type all of the stuff that god showed me in la. i honestly dont know where to begin.

one thing that god has really been challenging me on is seeing people as he sees them. you know without prejudice or anything. so when we went down to skid row, god really started dealing with me. see when i looked at all the people out there, i felt bad for them, but not much else. you see i don't want to just feel bad for them, i want to love them unconditionally. i was talking to mr. danny about it and he started talking about the kids in mexico for some reason. well we kept talking and i remember telling him that it's so easy to love the kids in mexico. the people on skid row live in poverty, they have issues, they go through alot of the same stuff, and yet it's so much easier to love the kids in mexico. and i don't want to be that way. i want to see everyone as God sees them.

Also i've really been reading out of 1st thess. alot. and one thing that God's been speaking to me alot on is pouring my life into people. not just sharing the gospel but my life as well. and that the people i encounter and the people i witness to/lead to christ are my jewels. they are my joy and crowns.

i guess i'll have more post on la coming soon. sorry i don't have any pictures. i'm lacking in the digital camera area.

in la

2007-07-18T22:53:00.000-07:00

ok so i can't talk for long because i'm bumming someone's laptop, so i'll make it as quick as possible... yesterday some of our group went down town to skidrow to do some innercity outreach stuff. while i was there i saw more homeless people than i've ever seen in my entire life. the guide dude told us that there are some 90,000 homeless in the city of la alone. What God has really been showing me is that i have to have a love for all of these people. like when i went out there, i saw the need and i felt real bad for the people and i really wanted to help, but i want there to be something more. i feel that God is calling me to see threw his eyes with extreme love and extreme compassion. i don'twant to just feel bad. i mean there is so much i want to say, but i really can't say it all right now. God is working on my heart right now and i'm loving it. last night we had an awesome worship service in this little room. it was so cool, the power of god fell like i['ve never felt, and what was so cool is that it wasn't summer camp or amplified or anytype of event. it was simply some people getting together to worship god. Thats all it reallly ever takes. sometimes i think that we only expect god to move at big events, but he wants to always move. i believe god is just looking for oppertunites where people are so desprate for him that he can't help but show up. and that's what happened last night. we got despreate. we saw the need in the city and we saw our need for more of Him...totally holy ghost,,,

WE LEAVE FOR L.A. TOMMORROW!!!!

2007-07-15T18:11:00.000-07:00

Oh yeah, tommorrow we leave for the beautiful city of Nuestra Senora la Reyna de Los Angeles de Porciuncula, aka las angeles. I am extremely excited about doing some inner city stuff. it's going to be great. So ya'll be praying for us as we go out, we'll need it. Can't wait.

humbling experience

2007-07-15T18:04:00.000-07:00

Ok so today was a very humbling experience for me. Well i went back to hilltop today to hand out some of my support letters to my former bosses and co-workers. I was almost embarresed to ask them for money. i don't know its just something i haven't ever really done or am used to...

This ones kind of long but read it anyway, it's awesome

2007-07-14T07:35:00.000-07:00

Ok so last night was pretty cool. I had met this guy the night before last in the pool and we kind of started talking. Well before i went up to the condo for the night he introduced me to one of his best friends. You could tell these two guys were pretty "rough" around the edges. K has probably one of the worst homelifes i've ever heard: his mom is a prostitute, his dad killed himself, and his grandmother kicked him out of her house as soon as the governmental benefits ran out. I mean wacked homelife. well his boy's family took him in and gave him some stability. I mean Houstin, k' friend, is pretty out there too. He's done all types of drugs and alchohol, i don't think ispelt that right. Anyway, he smokes, he's done wicka, and been in multiple cults, has multiple piercing, and yet he still has pretty high morals.

I feel really privelaged to have met these two misunderstood guys. Last night was awesome though because i got to talk to these two guys for about three hours. I mean we talked about everything from religion to music to sex and drugs to everything. I don't know how much i got threw to them, but i think i made a positive influence in their lives. but to tell you the truth, talking to them, i felt unprepared and unworthy. I mean i didn't understand alot of the stuff they talked about and didn't knowhow to bring the gospel into our conversations. i mean i straight up told them my beliefs when i could and shared some stuff, but i didn't know how to bring it around to personal for them. But then again i don't think that would have worked.

It's really hard to explain all that was said and stuff. I can't really put it into words. But last night i did learn one thing, something i've already known but now understand why; you CANNOT have judgemental attitude about someone else life. I've learned that you have to except them as they are, otherwise they will never listen to what you are trying to sayl to them. I mean, in the course of the three hour conversation, they both smoked four cigarrettes, and i was ok with that. LIke it didn't bother me to be around it you know. i finally understand what it truly means to meet someone where they're at and not try to change them.. That's God's job not mine. I think that's why so many people are turned off towards Christianity, 1. somewhere down the line someone has misrepresented what christianity really is. 2. they feel that if they open up to christians about there struggles and lifestyles, then they will be judged.

I feel that i've grown alot in my evangelical christian walk last night.

in finishing i'd like to share something that houstin said to me. he said, "You know, if more christians were like you, you know listening to me without judging, i think i'd be more open to christianity" I say that not to pump myself up or anything but to say that this generation is in desprate need of an authentic representation of what Christianity is. We have our jobs cut out for us. I seriously doubt that this is the only guy that feels this way. so next time you see someone that doesn't look like someone we'd hang out with, give them a chance. Be jesus for them and let them be Jesus for you. Last night i saw the need. i saw what these two guys represented: they represent a generation that is lost and confused and searching for acceptance anywhere they can find it.

God is so awesome. i feel unworthy sometimes of all the things he's been allowing me to do. Thank you Jesus.

the beach........again...

2007-07-12T12:46:00.000-07:00

Ok so i'm back at the beach. You would think after spending 9 days in destin i'd be sick of the beach, and to tell you the truth, i am. I'm not a big fan of the sand, the salt water, the clothing or lack of, or the sun. So really, the beach isn't the place for me to be. But my family is here and that makes it all worth it. I get to spend some time with my Maw maw sue, uncle Ryan, Aunt Laura, my cousins cohan and ella, and mom and mr. glenn. So yeah back at the beach.

I think i'll catch up on some reading. Tweez gave me a book called "velvet elvis" by Rob Bell. I'm pretty confused right now, but i guess ill eventually understand it. anyway it's alot safer than being outside with all those girls... :0

My old teacher

2007-07-12T12:39:00.000-07:00

So yesterday me and cody went see the fifth harry potter movie. It was pretty good, but they left alot out and it felt very jumpy. Anyway thats not the point of this post. The point is that while i was at the theatre i ran into one of my old teachers. This past year she lost her husband and is now raising a son on her own. She had to take a leave of absence, so i haven't seen her in a while. Well, when i saw her, i gave her a big ol' hug and asked her how she's been doing. So check this; she tells me that she's doing really well, mainly on account of a few books that i let her borrow last year. She said that they really help her put things in perspective and understand that God's plan is so much bigger than hers. It was really encouraging to hear. I'm so glad she's doing ok. I can't imagine what it would be like to lose your spouse and have to take care of a kid on your own. She's a trooper and God's awesome.

For those of you who are wondering the books title is "when god writes your life story" by Eric and Leslie ludy.

Oh and also i haven't been able to meet with my other friend yet. He went to another church in baton rouge on wednesday with some of his other christian friends and he said he's going to hpc this sunday morning. Ya'll be praying that God touches him and that he recieves it. Thanks so much

speech

2007-07-09T19:07:00.000-07:00

ok so i was hanging out at my mawmaw Sue's tonight for my mom's birthday. So firstly happy Birthday mom. Thanks for being who you are, for encouraging me to chase my dreams, and for supporting me into my life.

Ok so back to being at my mawmaws. Well my mawmaw sue made this really good cake that has a rather questionable name, and well, they decided to call it a nicer name. Well my aunt Laura said that there are some times when she wishes that her husband and her wish that they didn't say certain things in front of their children. Well when she said that, a thought passed through my mind. and it's nothing against her or anything, but it does describe a large majority of our thinking. And the thinking i'm talking about is that it's ok to say certain things when you become a certain age or your "mature". I think that's a load of bull...if the Bible calls us to have a childllike faith then why do we think its ok to say things that we wouldn't want children to hear. Sounds kind of backwards to me...

Well just a thought i had. Take it for what it's worth.

Oh yeah...God's awesome!!!

2007-07-07T13:42:00.000-07:00

Ok i'm going to do something that i don't think i've ever done before; post twice in one day. But this has to be posted about, if for nothing ese than to encourage others.

ok so i was sitting at home yesterday and one of my former teammates sent me a text message saying "i dnt really know how to do this but...do u think we can get together one da and u can help me with this bible! im a little confused with it! im wanting to turn my life n a new direction and i know that thegood lord will lead me n the direction i need to go!" i go this and i was totally shocked. Now you have to understand a little bit about my friend to grasp the weight of this; while he never made fun of me fo my beliefs or anything, he wasn't the kind of person you'd expect to find at church or something. Lets just say he's made some bad decisions. So when he called me not a minute later to talk, i was flabbergasted. We've now moved from an inpersonal text message to a serious conversation. He told me he really wanted to change and that he has some questions about the Bible; actually, about two pages of scriptures that he has questions about. So against all odds of me ever thinking something like ths would happen, me and my friend are meeting for coffee wednesday and then he's coming with me to Refuge. Talk about awesome.

it just shows me that God is so much bigger than anything i could think of. And that he can reach those we think are "unreachable" it really encourages me to think that i actually made a difference in my school.

So next time you think your wasting your time with someone: don't. God is using you. Next time you think your not making a difference: don't. God is using you. The next time you think of giving up because you don't see any progress: don't. God is using you.

Well i just couldn't help but post about such a amazing thing. Praise God!!!

An importan question

2007-07-07T13:37:00.000-07:00

Check out this awesome video i saw on Godtube.com took forever to find!!!

2007-07-05T09:22:00.000-07:00

ok so i know i haven't blogged in a while...one day from a month to be exact, but i've been doing alot of stuff from work, to camp, to church, to helping my dad redo this old house we bought. So yeah i've been kind of busy lately...

so let's get right down to the important stuff...summer camp...was amazing...i had such a good time this year. Met some cool people from other churches, had fun with the guys in my room, and the services were amazing!! Rev. spike brought it and i mean this guy was seriously funny...

Though this year was a little different for me than all years prior. This year i went as a leader, but instead of being a leader of say freshman, i had seniors and juniors...all my friends and stuff, so it was really wierd being there leader. i was like "they're my age"... but everything went smoothly with only one minor setback...Mickey:)...

oi and now for the bad news...i'm getting braces again. it seems that my teeth have shifted and he thinks i should go back in for another year...so yeah that stinks, but before that can happen i have to get my wisdom teeth pulled...double ouch!!!

so yeah nothing new besides that...peace!!!

support letter

2007-06-06T07:08:00.000-07:00

Well i guess since everyone else is posting there support letter online i guess i will too.... Please prayfully read and consider.... thanks a bunch :)

Dear Family and Friends

I am a recent honors graduate from FSHS. As I move beyond high school, I am looking forward to pursuing the future that God has for me. I will be taking part in a life-changing internship program next year and I would like to invite you to become a part of what God plans to do in and through me in this adventure.

Beginning in August of 2007, I will be participating in the Elevate Internship Program of Healing Place Church in Baton Rouge, Louisiana. Elevate is a nine month ministry internship designed to equip me to discern God’s will and carry out His work through the local church. I will learn what being a Jesus-style leader is all about while solidifying a strong Biblical foundation. Elevate will give me the opportunity to explore God’s calling on my life while acquiring practical ministry skills. During this internship, I will be serving alongside Healing Place Church staff in a particular ministry area. I will have the opportunity to share the love of Jesus with thousands of people by serving at the church, doing mission work within our community, and taking a short-term overseas mission trip.

The cost of the Elevate program is $10,150. This includes housing, utilities, books, training, retreats, food, and road expenses. Because Elevate is a full-time program I will not be able to work. Therefore I must also raise money in advance for all necessary food, gas, and other needs before hand as well. I will need and am aiming at raising an estimated $350 a month for these needs.

As I dedicate these nine months solely to the Lord, I would greatly appreciate it if you would consider supporting me through prayer and financial support. Your support is critical in seeing lives changes.

I would ask that you consider supporting me and God’s call on my life by becoming a part of my support team. Please indicate to me by phone, letter, or email your decision to become a member of my support team. As a member of my team, I would like to personally thank you by sending you periodic updates. Please provide me with contact information so I can keep you informed. My contact information can be found below.

Please make checks payable to Jordan Gautreau, you may even send in support via internet through credit card at healingplacechurch.org keyword: elevate.

If you have any questions, please feel free to contact me at 225-278-4328 or at jesuscsaves@yahoo.com and I
would be glad to answer any questions you may have. For you to better track my journey through Elevate, I
will be posting regular updates on my blog at jesuscsaves.blogspot.com. Thank you so much for supporting me in the Elevate internship.

Sincerely Yours,
Jordan Gautreau

Jordan Gautreau
12316 Old Mill Stone Drive
Geismar LA 70734
jesuscsaves@yahoo.com or at my blog
jesuscsaves.blogspot.com
225-278-4328

Well that's it...thanks so much for all you guys have done in encouraging me in my walk...thanks

new post

2007-06-04T19:58:00.000-07:00

Ok guys so i know it's been a really long time since i last posted, i don't know how many days it's been like tori, but i know it's been a long time. So i guess i'll give you alittle update.

not too much has been going on with me. mainly work, work, work, and church. So when i'm not working at work, i'm working on our new old house. Yeah we bought an old house and now we're fixing it up. So yeah, i'm working and working and working.

The good news is that with so much work i'm making a good bit of money. Well only from my job work not my family work. That's for free.

OH also tweez let me borrow this really awesome book called "communicating for a change" by andy stanley. it's a slammin book. basically the book is on really connecting with your audience and keeping there attention the whole time by using a one point sermon...very informative...

i got my mac

2007-05-21T18:37:00.000-07:00

ok so maybe you guessed this from my title but my macbook just came i today. i am like totally stoked. it took a while to get everything loaded up and all, but now it's all running and ready. Though i still don't know how to just log onto the internet...i have to use the search tool to get online which i know theres got to be an easier way, i just don't know how to do it. also it's going to take a little while to get used to the spaced out keypad. i keep typing the wrong stuff...

so i'd put a picture of it on here but i also can't figure out how to "right click" to copy the picture, so yeah, this is going to take a little getting used to.... :)

graduation

2007-05-12T07:02:00.000-07:00

ok so last night was my graduation and it was awesome... i had alot of good things happen to me and one bad. i'll start off first by saying my parents are awesome...They came in the house as i was pealing potatoes for potatoe salad and said they had something in the trunk of their car. i was thinking no way they bought me a laptop, but when i walked outside, after digging in their trunk, i realized they bought me a new car. i totally didn't even see it there. i was so focused on "trunk" that i didn't see it. Well it's a silver 2001 honda accord. the interior is really nice and the exterior needs alittle touch-up paint, but other than that it's awesome. OH and it gets 34 miles to the gallon.!!!!Oh yeah... ok now for the only bad thing that happened to me last night. my new car, the one i'm so excited about. Well, the tire blew or something. long and short of it is i have a flat tire. it's so messed up because the last new car i had my stepmom backed into it the next morning, now this one not 5 hours after having it blows a tire. i think i should just wait a day or two next time before i drive my new car.

Well, like i said, last night was graduation. God blessed me with being one of seven co-valedictorians. So i had/no was privelaged to give a speach. God showed me what an oppertunity He had blessed me with and encouraged me to take advantage of it. So i wrote my speach, they changed it alittle, but left the message the same. My message was that we try to find satisfaction by temporary earthly things that never satisfy. Well what they took out, i put back in during the speach :). Boy but was i nervous. i thought the podium was shaking with me. The gym was packed. i mean i've never seen it so full. And i'm very very thankful for all the guys from church that came out to support me; it really means alot to me guys. Thanks...

So i don't know how well it went or how well it was recieved, but i know that it never had anything to do with my words. the only way those people are going to change is by God's Spirit. After alot of stress, that thought came to me and really gave me some peace.

well that's it for now...peace out!!

oh and I'm offically out of high school... yay

Active Compassion

2007-04-30T17:39:00.000-07:00

So my mom gave me this really good book for easter call "a long way gone". I'm not done yet, but basically it's about this young boy who become displaced by the war in his country, sierra leonne. Like i said i'm not done yet, but already God is speaking to me. With reading this book and watching Invisible Children and Blood Diamond, God is really challenging me with Action. I mean like i went to the Displace me thing this past Saturday, but it doesn't feel like enough. i want to do something. i want to go.

Tweeze said something last Wednesday about Charles Young. Charles said before he left to become a missionary that it "isn't enough to just send money anymore." I'm beginning to feel the same way, just not quite to that extent. LIke don't get me wrong, i want to go over there and like NOW but i know that God wants me to stay here and do Elevate first. But it's no longer enough for me to just talk about helping. I want to do something. God's put it on my heart to support a missionary, possibly Charles and Kristen. I just feel like if i can't go over there then i need to support those that are. i guess it kinda goes along that whole sowing and reaping principle.

I love my God. He's so awesome. He's been challenging me to take action. You know, "active compassion" is what i've kind of come to label it. It's like the love we have for Christ has to flow out of us onto others. JUSTICE. I read these two scriptures today in my quiet time.

amos 5:21-24
5:21
"I hate, I despise your religious feasts; I cannot stand your assemblies.
5:22
Even though you bring me burnt offerings and grain offerings, I will not accept them. Though you bring choice fellowship offerings, I will have no regard for them.
5:23
Away with the noise of your songs! I will not listen to the music of your harps.
5:24
But let justice roll on like a river, righteousness like a never-failing stream!

This speaks a lot to me. It shows me it's more than just offering sacrifice for the sake of sacrifice. It's about your heart.

And then amos 6:1-6

6:1
Woe to you who are complacent in Zion, and to you who feel secure on Mount Samaria, you notable men of the foremost nation, to whom the people of Israel come!
6:2
Go to Calneh and look at it; go from there to great Hamath, and then go down to Gath in Philistia. Are they better off than your two kingdoms? Is their land larger than yours?
6:3
You put off the evil day and bring near a reign of terror.
6:4
You lie on beds inlaid with ivory and lounge on your couches. You dine on choice lambs and fattened calves.
6:5
You strum away on your harps like David and improvise on musical instruments.
6:6
You drink wine by the bowlful and use the finest lotions but you do not grieve over the ruin of Joseph.

When i was reading this, i couldn't help but think of how comfortable i get in my own little world. I don't think of those that don't have it as good as me. idk i just want to get out there and do something

post

2007-04-22T14:07:00.000-07:00

Ok so everyone has been telling me I need to post again, so here we go. I’m not going to make it too long because I know it’s aggravating to read. This past Friday was our 2nd Youth Rally at my school. Compared to the 30 kids we had for our Back to School Bash, this one was crazy. We had about a 100. It was put on by Velocity Youth, the youth group to my dad’s church in Coyell. Well anyway, they did a slammin job getting everything together and stuff. They led some powerful worship, had great dramas, and excellent teaching. At the end of the night there were about 60ish kids at the alter. It was powerful. At one point I went to go pray for my friend Jake and when I was praying for him, he just fell out. It was awesome, thank goodness they had another kid behind him to help me lower him because I’m too weak to do it on my own.

Then last night I went to E.A.’s prom with a girl named Hattie. We had an excellent time. We took pictures at Landry’s Photography, ate at Sullivan’s and then went to the dance. I had a really good time; some of the dancing wasn’t really my thing, but I had a good time none the less. Also, kinda going back to a post I wrote a few months ago, in our group we had a gay couple. At first I was kinda wigged out about it, but when I thought about it, it didn’t matter. I mean don’t get me wrong, I believe it’s wrong, but as far as hanging out and stuff, they’re people too. I got to talk to them both for about 10 minutes at dinner and some when we went bowling. Last night really just showed me, from all the “almost porno dancing” to these two gay guys, that we live in a lost world. There is so much hurt and pain and confusion it’s unreal. It just goes to show you that our work as Christians is desperately needed. We can no longer ignore these things or sit back and think someone else will deal with it. It’s time to love on people and show them the love of God because they are lost and confused and trying to feel the emptiness with all kind of mess. We then went bowling. I had fun. Hattie is a horrible bowler though. J

And finally a plug for Tori. This Friday at 7:00 p.m. at the annex Refuge is showing the Invisible Children dvd. You need to be there; it’s powerful stuff. It’s about the childwarriors in Uganda. So yeah, I don’t how to create links or anything so just go check out her page at www.toriohlerking.blogspot.com

fish and dr. pepper/ jambaliya

2007-04-07T12:46:00.000-07:00

Last night me, Phillip Kelly, Laci, and Mickey had to serve at Kelly Leader's wedding. Me and Phillip served drinks while Laci and Mickey monitored the food. Well after the reception was over, Mickey told me that Mr. Leader said we could have to food to take home and her and Laci were thinking of going downtown to hand it out to the homeless, but then they couldn't go. So it was up to me and P.K. We tried calling Blake Urban, Tweeze, Reggie, Jared Ray, and a bunch of other guys, but we couldn't find anyone that could go(stinking wives, except in Jared and Reggie's case). So we called Grey, a leader at LateNite; he and his friend could go.

I guess i'll go on ahead and say that for the first time, i was kind of scared doing this. Blake knew where the guys were and he gave me directions, but i was nervous because they were in this old run-down house thing. I didn't like the idea of four guys busting up into a house that was suppose to have a bunch of guys sleeping. I talked to Phillip and he was all for it, so with much prayer and rebuking of the devil we decided to go.

So last night around 1030ish me, Phillip, Grey, and Louis drove downtown to a place where we knew they had some guys sleeping with the intent to pass out food. Well, before we left the prayerroom last night one of my prayers was that one of the guys would be out walking around teh area so we wouldn't have to bust up in the house and guess what. There was a guy walking around outside the house; isn't God awesome.

Last night was so cool. We got to meet a physical need of some guys downtown and show the love of God to those that are hurting. And really when you think about it, that's all we're here for. to seek that which is lost. It's time for us as Christian to go beyond just knowing what God's word says, but actually start doing it. It's time for us to begin to put action to our beliefs...

Well around 11:00ish my mom called and said that she couldn't go to sleep because she had a bad feeling about us being out and asked if we could come home. Needless to say when she called me i was ready to take her advice. She doesn't really worry that much, or at least when she does it's not verbally expressed to me; not to mention we were in a rather rough part of the town.

So we got to feed about five guys and show the love of Christ. I'd say it was a win.... :) :) (:-))

also i got lost going home last night. I got on the right interstate, thought i was on the wrong one,so i got off, went down another street got back on the same interstate and got off, then realized it was the right interstate all along, so got back on to go home...oh yeah....

blah

2007-04-04T10:23:00.000-07:00

Ok sorry it’s been so long. It’s just that when you wait so long, the things you want to say begin to pile up and it makes saying it that much harder, if that makes sense. So let’s see where do I begin?
I guess I’ll start off with Amplified. I had an awesome time. Friday night Chad made an alter call for those that felt that they were called to missions. Well, I went up and had quite an experience. I don’t know if this ever happens to you, but I found it hard to pray, due to the fact that I was listening to Chad pray. Well in order for me to break through this, I had to just put everything aside and start crying out to God; well for me it’s more like screaming. Well His Spirit really fell on me. For some reason as I was praying I really felt a desire to pray for Lebanon. Then Iran, Iraq and finally the Middle East. I don’t really know if that’s because I’m called there or what, but I’ve sure been thinking about it a lot lately.
Oh, side note. As I was walking back from the alter this little girl walked up to me and asked me if I was ok, from screaming and all. I said yeah, and asked why. She said because when you started screaming, I started crying. I was like “ok, I scared her.”, but when I told Dustin, he was like, “no way dude, that was the anointing.” I didn’t think so, but I continued to think about it. Well the following night, Saturday, Chad had another alter call, but this time for those that felt a heavy call and those that have been prophesied over. I went up to the front and really struggled praying, until I started just screaming out to God. It was so awesome; I could feel God so close it was crazy. Well, after the service, this girl Ashley came up to me and said that when I started screaming, she felt like something grabbed her by the waist and all she could hear was my prayer. I was like ok God, I guess it’s You… J
And I know this isn’t in chronological order, but after praying at the alter Saturday night, Chad had an alter call and had everyone that received Christ get up on stage. I went up on stage to pray for my friends. As I was up there I really felt God impress upon my heart that this is what I was going to do with my life. I looked around at friends praying for friends and being broken before God and knew that I could do nothing else. This is what I wanted to dedicate my life to see. It was crazy… Then Pastor Dino called me up on stage to close out the Sunday service in prayer…Talk about caught me off guard.

Then this past Saturday was my senior prom and I had a blast. Tori went with me as my date; she wore a white dress with massive black polka dots and pink Barbie shoes. I had a great time with her and everyone. We salsa and jitterbug danced. OH the only thing I didn’t like was my $32 steak from Ruth Chris. Honestly, it had almost no seasoning…but other than that I had a great time.

Oh, with Amplified I forgot about the missions conference. So here’s the layout of my summer. I’m going to Las Angeles with Refuge in July, which I can’t wait. Israel fell through, so that’s a no. And I may be going to North Carolina with Refuge for my senior trip. I’m also definitely doing Elevate this coming year. I’m almost done filling out my application; all I have to do is get it notarized and I’m done. I’m going to need a lot of help with this. I’m getting some money from my mom and dad, but the rest I have to raise on my own; which is about 6,000 more dollars. I made t-shirts that I’m selling, so if you would like to buy one that would be awesome. Pastor Bud, pastor of Freedom Church in Colyell Louisiana is taking up an offering for me, which I’m super-excited about. And I’m also sending out support letters, a bunch of them. So don’t be surprised if you get one in the mail. Your prayers are also desperately needed, for L.A. as well as Elevate. Please pray that our L.A. trip will go smoothly and have a massive impact on those we reach out to. Pray that we’ll be changed through the experience. Pray that everyone’s finances will come in for it. Also pray for the finances for Elevate to be there. Thank you guys so much for your support and friendship.

Finally, I can’t wait to go spear fishing in Lake Maurepas. It’s going to be great.!!!!

Post coming soon...i promise

2007-04-01T15:32:00.001-07:00

ok so i know i haven't posted in a while...give me alittle while longer and then theyll come...possibly... :O

2007-02-27T20:26:00.000-08:00

Well tonight was officially the last basketball game of my high school career. We lost tonight by thirteen against the Runnel’s Raiders. I scored only seven points tonight, one of my worst scoring games of the season. We finished the season with 20 wins and 19 losses, just barely a winning season. But I had fun. We had some hard losses and some great wins. I’ve made lots of friends and enemies over the years, but hopefully I left a lasting impression for the better. I regret losing, but I can honestly say that I laid it all on the line. I never backed down or gave up. I gave it my all; many times diving out of bounds for loose balls and taking charges under the goal. Sometimes I lost my composure, but for the most part, I played under control and with a friendly attitude.
Of course I’m sad that I won’t be playing anymore high school games, but I’ll get over it. Life goes on. One good thing that comes out of the end is the extra time I’ll have to focus on church and God. Before I would always have to go back to school at 1:30 for practice, but no more. Now, I’ll be able to get to church earlier and spend more time serving.
Of course I’ll have to work some, but that’s ok. Mr. Dan told me once that I couldn’t ask people for something I wasn’t willing to work for myself. And I believe that’s true. On the other side of that, I’ve starting compiling a list of contacts for support letters, started looking up addresses, and making flyers for my t-shirt that I’m about to start selling. I’m really excited about Elevate; in fact, I can hardly wait. I’m ready to start the next chapter in my life. But not yet. I still have to focus on my fellow students. There’s still work to be done at French Settlement. Right now, my primary focus is to build up new leaders, one in particular, Ryan Keller. He’s the future leader of FCS. It can’t die after I leave.
So the chapter in my life called high school basketball has officially been closed. What’s next? I have an idea, but I’m really just going to have to trust God.

more thoughts

2007-02-18T16:17:00.000-08:00

I don't really know where to start. Or really what to say. I know that's hard to believe. I guess i'll start off by saying that God is just so amazing. He's teaching me so much right now. I'm really learning what it means to see people as Jesus would. I've been fortunate enough to be able to go downtown at night to hand out blankets and sweatshirts to homeless people, and really be able to see what they're going through. Granted we don't see that many of them, but it's good to be exposed. Something cool that happened last night and was a revelation to me even as i said it was that, it's not really about the blanket at all; it's about their souls. So often when we do "outreaches" we, myself included, get so caught up in getting to the next person or handing out the next pack of gum or bottle of water that we lose the real meaning for why we do what we do: to get an oppertunity to reach out to these people and show them the love of christ. The blanket meets a physical need, but what we can give them, the message of salvation, meets a spiritual, eternal need. Like i said, revelation for me.

Also, God is speaking to me more now than ever before. I'm learning to read His word with a fresh passion and understanding that i've never had before. It's like words are beginning to jump off the page at me and scream, "look at me, this is what i mean!" Something else that's cool is that i finally understand that God created me analytical for a reason. Mike Haymen spoke two saturday's ago on doing something heroic for Christ. In the course of his message he said something to the affects that God created him competitive for a reason and that God knows how he thinks. And then after the service Reggie told me something to the affect that God knows how I think; he created me that way for a reason. It's really refreshing because before i had always judged myself as being overanalytical to the point of annoying, which can still be the case, but God is now showing me that i was created that way for a reason. I believe some of that reason is how i read His word. I'm such a word person. When i read, individual words that normally wouldn't stick out to other people stick out to me: i.e. whetehr it's a verb, noun, or adjective; connotation, etc. God knows me. :)

I've also been taking LeadershipExcell; it's been super helpful. It's been affirmation and confirmation more than anything though. Each week the class has reflected what God has been showing me. It's been really challenging.

And finally, I just feel like God is beginning to break me. Break me of mySelf. I know that may sound contradictory because i'm saying it about myself, but it's true. God is showing me how big he is and how small i am. He's showing me it's not about me at all, it's not about what i can do, or my gifts, or anything; it's about Him and being obedient to Him. It's about them. Nothing else matters. I don't want anymore distractions. so many time i allow the devil to distract me after God makes a breakthrough in me, whether it be a game or a sport or a relationship, but now more. I'm pressing on to what He's calling me to. I'm leaving everything behind. NO more compromise or backsliding. No more halfhearted attempts. I don't want to settle for the mundane or the statis quo. I don't want to be casual in my walk any longer. As the Warrior's Creed says it, "my face is set. my gait is fast." I want his creed to be mine. I don't want to be just another facebook Christian that never gets out of the boat. I want my life to have more meaning than that. I want to leave a legacy. A legacy of love, surrender, and obedience.

I really can't put into words what's in my heart right now. At least not without using a ton of words which you probably don't want to read.

I can't wait for Elevate. Last Tuesday i got to sit in on a class and it was phenominal. I can't wait!!!!!!!!!!!!!

matthew 10 stuff

2007-02-11T14:02:00.000-08:00

So i posted not too long ago and i wanted to give you an update of what's been going on since then. Well, this past post was one of the first time i had ever really journaled like my thoughts and what i thought God's thoughts were. Well, last night i went to late night and pastor mike spoke on living by faith and being heroic for Christ. It was just such an confirmation for me to hear mike talk on so many things i had just journaled about. He spoke on taking risk for Christ and dreaming big and stuff. Idk it was just really cool. Then Reggie said some stuff that confirmed some other things about belief that i had been thinking about. Like: Why can't i just take You at your word and believe.

Then i had a leadership class at the ITI and Pastor Johnny Green spoke on Moses' obedience to God. He said how even though it only took eleven days for the Israelites to get from egypt to the promise land, moses lead them where God told him to go. It wasn't the normal thing, but Moses took God at his word and obeyed.

then after leadership class i went to the prayer room from 9:30- 11:30 and had an awesome quiet time. As i let my mind wonder a little bit, i started thinking of the story of mary and martha. When Jesus came to their house Martha reverted back to the "natural" thing to do and began hosting. She did what the culture said was right at the time, whereas mary sat at Jesus's feet and drank in his presence.

I was trying to look up this passage when i stumbled across matthew 10. this is where jesus sends out his discples to preach to the jews. One of the first things that stood out to me was in verse 9-10 where jesus tells his discples not to take any money or extra clothes or anything. I thought about how all that stuff they would have brought, they probably got in from their past life as fishermen. It was something they were able to aquire in their own strength. when jesus called them out, he wanted them to leave everything behind and trust in Him for their provision instead of their own possessions. I don't know it was just really cool to think that they had to give up everything they ahd to follow him. I can gauruntee you, they didn't think this was the smartest thing to do or what most people would expect, but then again, jesus doesn't call us to do the normal thing, he calls us to be obedient to Him.

The next thing that stood out to me was when jesus said he'd send us out like "sheep among wolves". This verse was followed by phrases like, "you will be delivered to the magistrates, when they deliver you, you shall be hated, and when they persecute you." When jesus calls us out, it's not just to some picnic in the park. We will face persecution and trials and tribulations. But jesus said, "when we are delivered up, take no thought of what you shall say, for it is not you that will speak, but the spirit of the father that lives in you."

I just keep going back to the thought that i will cost me everything to follow Him. My obedience is required. I just feel like i'll find true fulfillment when i abondon everything to Him.

another thought i had was, "i can never have all of God until theirs none of me"

in short, i'm just really excited about what God is doing in my life. My finances are already starting to line up for elevate and i havent hardly done any raising yet. I can't wait for this next season in my life to begin. I'm syked..

journal stuff

2007-02-10T14:16:00.000-08:00

So I know it’s been a while, but oh well. Life’s been really busy and really great. God has been showing me so much about Himself lately. He’s really been teaching me to love other’s with an unconditional love. To feel what they feel. I was thinking the other night about how Paul says he “mourns with those who mourns, weeps with those who weeps” and so on (paraphrase). I sat thinking about that and for me, I’m more one of those guys that is sad for those who mourn and weep. You know, I don’t ever feel it with them. I want to. I want to be broken by someone else’s brokenness. I don’t want everything to be head knowledge to me. I overanalyze everything and think through the reasons of everything. Why can’t I just have a childlike faith and take God at His Word? Why can’t I just believe? Break me Lord. Break through my reasoning and thought. Shake me to the very core of my being.

Today, about ten minutes ago, I was upstairs having quiet time, and I started thinking about God’s unconditional love and His grace and mercy and how I don’t deserve any of it, yet He gave it all freely. Then I started thinking about my school and how there are so many lost and hurting people in my school that I overlook. People that I never reach out to; never show Jesus to. Well, God began to really challenge me. This is what I wrote in my journal:

Lord, I want to have a childlike faith in You. To really take Him at His word and believe. Lord I am desperate for more of you.
There should be no boundries that hold us back from reaching out to the lost sheep. So what if he’s gay; He’s on of God’s lost sheep. So what if she’s black, or Hispanic, or poor, or rich, or homeless, or Asian, or despised; he’s/she’s one of God’s lost sheep. What gives us the right to decide who is worthy to hear God’s message. God had someone tell you and me, and He knows I’m not worthy. What right do we have? NONE!!!
It’s our job and responsibility to reach out by any means necessary. We are here for “them”. We can’t settle for the mundane or the norm. We have to be innovative in our methods, forward in our approach, strong in our faith, low on our knees, confident in prayer, and authentic in our message. We are called to display who He is to a generation that lacks eyes to see and ears to hear. We are the frontline. We go in first and come out last. NO lost shall be left unfound. NO hurting shall be left untouched. NO rejected shall be left unaccepted. NO one shall be left unloved. It is time for us to take up the call. It is time for us to get on our knees, humble ourselves before Him, and deny our own flesh and desires. No more backsliding or looking back. No more compromise or complacency. It’s time to be world changers. It’s time to be revolutionist. It’s time be obedient.

So yep, that’s what I feel God is calling me/us to. “thick”

long, long, but not too too bad

2007-01-29T17:20:00.000-08:00

Ok sorry ya’ll, I know this one has been long in coming. I’m going to go ahead and just skip to the really cool part. I don’t remember stuff from last week hardly so yeah, I’ll start on Friday night. Friday after our basketball game in Holden, which we won, I drove home to shower. Then headed to the prayer room at the Annex where I was going to meet Dustan Anderson, T. Berry, and Paul Mousso.
Mickey had told me earlier in the day that when he went it was only him and it was real peaceful, so I had that in mind when I opened the door to the Annex. What I heard though was loud shouting and praying in tongues and stuff. I had no idea what was going on, so I waited outside and tried to distinguish who was in there. It turned out it was Tweez, Charles Young, JP, Aliece Cole, Haviland, and one girl from Elevate whose name I can’t remember. It was so awesome; I had a hard time concentrating at first because of how loud it was; all I could say was “amen” to what they where praying.
I eventually got into the flow and it was amazing. I just felt God breaking me down. It was real emotional. Then Mike busted out the guitar and Tweeze grabbed the Gimbae and we had some really good worship. Then Charles had the idea of going outside and praying and stuff. It was really cool.
Eventually Tweeze decided that we were going to go to Wal-Mart and buy some sleeping bags and hand them out to homeless people. It was really cool. We me this guy named Bradford Sullivan and he started preaching to us. Boy he could talk.
Saturday I went to the prayer room early in the morning and then later that night from 10:00-1:20. It was so awesome. I just feel that God is trying to teach me to care for those that He cares about and love those that he loves. Sometimes it so easy to get caught up with ourselves and our problem or even caught up in searching for God’s will for “Our” lives that we forget about those that God has called us to reach. So yeah it was really cool.
Then Sunday morning Pastor Dino’s message just affirmed it even more. And then of course Vision night was awesome; again about caring for the “them” and reaching the “them”.
After Vision Night charles and Kristen came to our house to eat and have coffee. It was really cool getting to talk to them and really listening to them. I got to ask them how they knew they where called and when the timing was right and stuff. It was really cool.
Then I drove me and Charles to the annex where we would leave to go hand out sleeping bags again. It was really like being “fisher’s of men” because we couldn’t find any guys so we kept driving around “fishing.”
Then this morning me, mickey and Shae all went to the prayer room at 9:15 to 11:30ish. It was really good. We went eat at dynasty then I went back to the prayer room for another hour before I had to leave for practice.
But this last prayer was so good because I was by myself. I didin’t have to worry if I was too loud or anything and esp. wasn’t thinking if they where listening to my prayers, which is a bad habit I sometimes have.
But yeah, this weekend was just really good for me. I had grown complacent at school as being know as the head “Christian” guy. I don’t ever want to be comfortable. I want God to shake me and disturb me into action again. I want to have compassion on those He loves. I want to be moved to action. I don’t ever want to just “exist” where I’m at. I’m learning to just wait on God. I’ve been in this hype over mission stuff and elevate and I just really feel that God isjus saying to chill and soak Him up. To just get to know Him better and to learn his Characteristics and attitudes. I wanna be like my Jesus. I want to partake of His suffering. I wanna be tested and persecuted. I think one of the hardest things I’m facing is “living” for Him. I’m ready to die for Him, but am I ready to live?

Sorry that it’s all jumbled up and weird. I had and still have a bunch of stuff on my mind, but there’s no way I can type all of it. So yeah, that’s it.

peace child and thoughts

2007-01-09T13:49:00.000-08:00

I finished another book last night. “Peace Child” by Don Richardson. Basically it’s a narrative of when he and his wife Carol, along with their son Stephen, went to a small tribe in the Netherlands called the Sawi. The Sawi are cannibalistic headhunters that believe in the art of treachery. They have one saying that translates to mean, “to be fattened with friendship”. Despite the risk, Don and Carol immerse themselves with the Sawi. The whole first year is nothing but language study, as n one has ever translated their language. The determination and conviction of this couple is incredible. To be able to go as missionaries to a isolated place and not even be able to preach to them for a whole year shows the dedication they have to Christ and to the Sawi.

It’s truly an amazing story of God’s providence, grace, and mercy. When all hope seems lost of ever finding a way to relate the gospel message to this heathen child, God provides a way by what the Sawi call a “peace child”. A peace child is a child given from one tribe to the other as a peace offering, and as long as that child lives their will be peace. You can see where his analogy comes from.

Reading this book has only increased my desire to go over seas and impact the world. It has increased my desire to know and understand what God’s plan is for me. I can’t wait to just go. But I know I have to. God isn’t through shaping me yet. It would be foolish for me to rush what God is doing in my life right now to do what I want; I’d only mess things up. Something that I’ve been thinking about lately has been what Mr. Dan told me the other day, “you may or may not find yourself over seas. You have to accept what God is calling you to do in the moment and be obedient.” Then he asked me two other rhetorical questions. “Are you willing to die for Christ, but more importantly, are you willing to live for Christ. It’s almost easier to die for Him than live.” Thinking on those two questions, I’ve come to the conclusion that he’s right. I could die for Christ. I would be honored to be martyred for my faith. Living day in and day out for Him, on the other hand, is much harder.

And then the other day I was reading in proverbs, I think, either chapter 3 or 4, and it was talking a lot about paths. “Trust in the lord with all your heart and lean not to your own understanding, in all your ways acknowledge him and he shall direct your paths” and in proverbs4:25-27 it says “Let your eyes look straight ahead, fix your gaze directly before you. Make level paths for your feet and take only the ways that are firm. Do not swerve to the right or to the left; and keep your feet from evil.”

These to scriptures really speak to me. Of course I want my paths to be directed by the Lord, but there are things I must do. 1 trust in the lord with all my heart 2 lean not on my own understanding 3 acknowledge Him in all my ways. Basically it means to surrender everything. Harder said than done. But God is teaching me to.

One thing that stuck out to me on proverbs 4 is the word “firm”. When I hear firm I think of how God is our rock and how Jesus tells us to build our house on solid ground. To me it means our paths should be directed by the Lord. In psalms 37:23-24 it says “if the Lord delights in a mans ways, He makes his steps firm; though he stumbles he will not fall, for the Lord holds his hand.” It all ties together. It’s amazing when you think about it.

Then reading down I’m reminded that my “way’s are in full view of the Lord, and he examines all my paths.” (Psalms 5:21) It all goes back to trusting in the Lord to direct you because if He directs you, you’ll always be on the right path.

For me though I think what God is showing me the most is that I’m on a straight path right now. My path is that of growing and maturing and developing into what He is calling me to be. I can’t rush Him. Who knows, maybe around the next corner on the next straight away I’ll be on the field. But right now, I feel that God would have me focus on developing the gifts and talents he has given me. I feel that God wants me to really focus on Him; put all other things aside and focus on Him alone. It’s hard. With so many distractions and things competing for my attention, sometimes it becomes hard. But God is sufficient. He’s my source and sustenance. He’s my everything.

mission stuff

2006-12-31T10:00:00.000-08:00

I guess I’ll start off by saying that I’ve had a wonderful Christmas. I’ve been spending a whole bunch of time with Tori and her family, and it’s just been really fun. I kinda feel sorry for Tori though, because she had to come to like 5 family Christmas parties. What a trooper. Anyway God’s blessed me with a bunch of nice stuff and whole new wardrobe in brown for those of you who get tired of seeing me in black. J I also got a really nice journal from Tori and little man bag. J Mr. Dan and Mrs. Vicki gave me some nice books and a really cool raised seal for all my books. It’s so cool.

Well I already read one of the books they gave me, and I may have posted something on it I’m not sure. Anyway, I read High Adventures in Tibet, it’s about the mission work of Victor Plymire in Tibet. It’s so encouraging. He spent 50 years as a missionary in Tibet. I could feel his passion for the Tibetans throughout the book. What got me the most is that I had been praying for a passion for the lost and to have an unconditional love for people. From reading this book, I’ve realized that unconditional love isn’t just an emotion or feeling towards a certain people, but instead it’s a choice to love them whether they return it or not. It’s a conscious decision to care for them and give yourself to them. Christ made a choice to be obedient to the Father. We too must also make a choice to love our neighbor.

From this book, my passion to go/possibly live on the mission field has only increased. I can’t wait to get out on the field. I can’t wait to be stretched and strained. I can’t wait to be broken and laid bare before my Lord. I’ve always felt a tug to the field, just not this strong. The one problem I face now is where. Where does God want me? Where am I called? Right now, I don’t care. I just want to go. I want to be changed and used.

So yeah, that’s about it. Just wanted to give you an update of what’s going on in my life. Merry Christmas and Happy New Year to ya’ll. J

Revealed with Christ

2006-12-21T10:15:00.000-08:00

Ok so I was sitting by the computer this morning having my quiet time when I really felt God speak to me through His word. I opened the Bible up to Colossians 3 and few things really stuck out to me.

Colossians 3:2-4 Set your mind on the things above, not on the things that are on earth.3 For you have died and your life is hidden with Christ in God.4 When Christ, who is our life, is revealed then you also will be revealed with Him in glory.

This passage really spoke to me: 1. To set my mind on heavenly things not the earthly such as what car I’m going to get next or what I’m getting for Christmas or whatever. It’s not about any of those things. Everything is about the eternal. Because at the end of it all, that’s all you’re left with. 2. That my life, my existence is hidden with Christ. This speaks volumes to me. My life is not my own. I shouldn’t parade what I’ve done or said or anything around to others; It’s not about that, my life is hidden with Christ. I know I say it a bunch, but this scripture just makes me think of it again. I don’t want to be seen. I don’t want to be noticed. I want to cease to exist if it means that Christ will be glorified. I want to be hidden in Him so that the focus is off of me and directed to Him. 3. When Christ is revealed so will I. Not until then. I can’t try to force people to notice me. And I definitely shouldn’t try to gain recognition through servant hood. Woe unto me if I ever seek glory for myself even in the least.

Then it goes on to say in verse 17 : “Whatever you do in word or deed, do all in the name of the Lord Jesus, giving thanks through Him to God the Father.”
It didn’t say “whatever you do in word or in deed, do it all for yourself, to earn yourself recognition” It makes me think of all the things I say and do throughout the course of just one day. What do I dedicate unto God and what do I dedicate unto mySelf? Lord I don’t want the glory or honor. Lord crucify my desires. Lord consume me to where it’s no longer me people see, but only You. Father break me. Lord break my pride and arrogance. Lord humble me. Father let it never be about me. Father teach me to hide in who You are. God let everything I do be to bring You glory and honor and praise.

2006-12-18T18:20:00.000-08:00

My first semester as a senior officially ends tomorrow. I’m done with all my mid-terms and stuff, but I still have to go half a day so I can play basketball tomorrow night. I’m so thankful for the upcoming Christmas holidays. I need some down time. What’s funny though is that I don’t think I’m going to catch up on my rest like I want/need to. I think it’s going to be like my weekends. I’m supposed to catch up on sleep, but that never seems to happen for some reason I can’t quite think of. J The holidays are going to be crazy. With my parents being divorced and my mom’s parents being divorced I have to go to a lot of parties: some fun some not so fun.
Anyway, to what God is doing in my life right now. God is showing me that I have to trust and depend on Him in all things. It’s so easy for me to depend on Him when things are going good and all, but when it gets down to the nit and gritty things change. When you’re stuck in your sin, your pride kicks into high gear saying that you can do it on your own. You don’t need God to get you out. WRONG… God is showing me that, especially, in my failures I need to rely on Him. When I’m broken and down, that’s when God can really get a hold of my life. Only when I am broken can God build me up into His image. So I say Break me oh God, Tear down my pride, humble me. I want to be broken bread in His hands. Willing to be molded and used.
God is shwing me that I have to submit every area of my life. No holding back. If I want to truly life the life God intends for me, I cant be me. I want God to crucify me. I want to be totally lost in who He is. So absorbed in the things of Heaven, that I can’t think of anything else. I want to die to mySelf. God take control of my life. Sit on the throne of my heart. Reign.
He is also showing me that I can’t be stingy with my finances. I am a frugal person. I don’t like to spend my money, I’d much rather save it. Well at service Saturday Pastor Dino said something that really hit me. I don’t rememeber what it was; just that I can’t be stingy with my finances. On the way home from service me and Tori were talking about how we have to always have “open hands” never holding on to the things God gives us, but always looking for ways to bless others.
So yeah, that’s what God has been doing in my life at the moment. Ok, random question that I’ve been pondering. Ok have any of ya’ll ever had something you wanted to write in your journal, whether it be about your future or whatever, but you were scared to because you didn’t want it to turn out wrong? I do it all the time with numerous things. What’s your take?

yeah it's been a while and this one's long

2006-12-12T20:05:00.001-08:00

Ok i know it's been awhile since my last "real" post and for that i apologize. I've just been real busy. What with basketball and school. I can say that i've been having a lot of fun hanging out with Tori and the Ohlerkings and not so much fun with school...but hey i have to go...

Ok I’m almost positive now about some things pertaining to my future. I’m doing Elevate this summer…it’s almost final. I can’t wait to be in an atmosphere that will stretch me and at the same time draw me closer to God. The only thing about elevate that I’m not looking forward to is working out. I absolutely hate lifting weights. You get me running and I’m ok but I really dislike weights. Anyway I’m really excited about that.

Twisted is tomorrow, which is going ot be aweseom… I’ve got me the phantom mask and a nice vest…so yeah that’ll be fun…

And iknow this is going to make this post really long, but I want to go ahead and put some personal narratives I had to write for school on here….tell me what you think:

My Holy Spirit Experience

The summer of my ninth grade year was when things really began to change in my life. The camp was called “Oasis”, located in Panama City, Florida, and the speaker was none other than Pastor Dino, the lead pastor of my church. Prior to this summer camp I remember praying that if God was real, He needed to show himself to me in an almost tangible way. I wasn’t settling for anything less than speaking in the Holy Spirit. I mean I had heard about it and had even witnessed it, but I didn’t really believe it. It was something I needed to experience for myself.

So there I was at summer camp having an unexpectedly good time because, well, it was actually fun. The first two days were filled with sandy beaches, swimming pools, and intense services. Though the other services were awesome, nothing “profound” happened until the last night of camp. I remember walking into the sanctuary that last night with a sense of expectancy. The lights were dimmed low, accompanied by a slight fog produced by the hazer. The band had already begun playing soft background music. They continued to play as the crowd of students came in close. The atmosphere in the sanctuary was that of extreme excitement. The first song they played was “All Day” by Hillsong. I remember it wasn’t long before I was jumping up and down with my hands raised high in reverence to my God. The energy and presence of God was electrifying.

As the last song finished, Pastor Dino made his way up the side stairs onto the stage. “Please go ahead and get back to your seats,” He said with a thoughtful, almost distant look. As I made my way to my seat through the crowd of people, Pastor Dino placed his Bible and small spiral bound notebook on the podium. Then, kneeling with compassion on his face, he said “with the power of the Holy Spirit in you, you know longer have to be subject to the reign of sin; you can be an overcomer.” He explained that by having the Holy Spirit live inside of me, I would be able to live the life God intended for me. He also said that there was a way to be sure that the Holy Spirit was inside of me. He looked into the crowd as he said that, “speaking in tongues is evidence of the Holy Spirit living inside of you.” I didn’t know much, but I knew that this was what I had been praying for. As he continued to speak, sitting in my chair with my head bowed and hands together in prayer, my lips began to quiver and my hands began to shake. In my disbelief, I clasped my hands together and closed my lips in an attempt to stop the shaking, but to no avail. God was showing Himself to me whether I liked it or not.

As pastor Dino made his alter call, I found myself standing. I remember wanting what He had for me so bad. I walked out of my seat and down the isle in a semi daze; a mixture of fear and excitement coursed through me. Not caring what anyone thought, I brushed through the crowd of people, and made my way to the very front of the alter. I wanted to be as close as I could. Standing there in a daze, I threw my hands up to heaven in a sign of surrender. God I want all that you have for me¸ I prayed. Lord reveal yourself to me. Shaking uncontrollably now, I gagged from the power of the Holy Spirit made manifest in me. I can’t do this, I thought. I can’t surrender to this. Oh but how I wanted to. I remember, in that moment, feeling a strange peace wash over me. It was a peace that only God could supply. In a matter of seconds, I found myself thinking, Lord I surrender everything to You; let Your will be done. Still shaking, syllables that I have never heard before started spewing forth from my lips. As His spirit washed over me, I remember praying, God thank you, over and over again. Lord you are so good I prayed as tears flowed down my already moist cheeks. I couldn’t stop praising Him; I couldn’t stop worshiping.

I will never forget that night; it changed my life forever. That night I died to mySelf and surrendered all that I am to God. He became the longing of my heart; the desire of my soul. He showed Himself to be all that I had been searching for and so much more.

Now some two and a half years later, God is still continuing to change me. I have along way to go. I am by no means perfect or anywhere near what God has called me to be. I mess up more times than I succeed, but I continue to strive to be more like Him everyday. I want Him to have complete control of my life. I want my life to be a testimony of His love, and mercy, and grace.

I can honestly say that my decision to accept Christ and live a life totally abandoned to Him has been the single, most life-altering decision I have or will ever make.

My Hope is in the Lord
It was the summer of my senior year when I really started volunteering at my church. My days were filled with running errands, folding bulletins, and going on outreaches. I even took a leadership class called Equip and to top it all off, I went on an extremely powerful summer camp. Through all these experiences, serving became more than an obligation I felt as a Christian; it became a lifestyle that I began to embrace. I would wake up at five o’clock each morning looking forward to spending time alone with my Lord during early morning prayer at the church. I couldn’t wait to go on outreaches. At busy intersections, we would pass out water bottles to people stopped at red lights, or give people gum on their lunch break in downtown Baton Rouge. I loved helping at the church. But with the growing sense of peace I felt working at the church, came an uneasy question about my future. Do I go to college or go straight into ministry?
The air was already hot and humid as I climbed out of my red Saturn Coupe this hot summer morning. I closed my car door and walked to the front of Frank’s Restaurant where I was supposed to meet Pastor Jason. As I got to the front door I saw him getting out of his little, red Eclipse. I waited for him to cross the crowded parking lot and make his way to the front door before offering him my hand. “Good morning Tweeze,” I said grasping his hand in a firm handshake.
“Whaattss upp doggy,” he said letting go of my hand and opening the hardwood door to the restaurant. “I hope you’re hungry,” he called over his shoulder. I could tell he had been here before by the way he walked straight pass the “Please be seated” sign to a table in the back corner of the crowded room. We sat across from each other and waited in silence until our waitress came to take our drink orders. “Water,” we both said as she asked us for our drinks.
I had asked Pastor Jason the night before at Refuge if he would be my mentor and if I could meet with him soon. I told him I had some weighty questions on my mind and wondered if he could give me his opinion. We agreed to meet at Frank’s the next morning to discuss my questions.
“Here are your drinks,” the waitress said with a smile, breaking through my thoughts. “Thank you,” we replied together as she set our drinks on the table and made her way through the crowd back to the kitchen.
I was reading the menu to see what I wanted to eat when Jason asked with an intent look on his face, “So what is it you wanted to talk to me about,” I could tell he knew this was important to me and was giving me his full attention. I appreciated his apparent sincerity.
“Well, as you know I have been working at the church a lot this summer,” I said fidgeting with my napkin. “And, it’s just…I think this is the life God is calling me to; working in a church and all. I mean I love it, but I don’t know where college falls into all of this. This is something I’ve really been worrying about lately,” I said looking away. “I mean, like losing sleep kinda worrying.”
Jason leaned back in his chair with a thoughtful look. I remember thinking that he was going to give me a yes or no opinion. I was wrong. Leaning his elbows on the table, he looked me in the eye and said, “Jordan…”
“So what can I for you this beautiful morning,” our waitress asked with a cheerful smile, interrupting Jason’s words.
“French toast,” Jason said politely.
“Chocolate chip pancakes with whip cream,” I said handing her our menus.
After the waitress left, I focused my attention back on Jason, waiting for the rest of his words; waiting for his words of wisdom.
“Jordan,” Jason began again, “you have to trust God. I have seen Him do many great things in your life this summer, and He has put many questions on your heart. He’s put questions that, ultimately, only He can answer. If you seek him with all of your heart and lean not on your own understanding, He will direct your steps[i],” he said with a confident smile. He then quoted a scripture that I had already known, but hadn’t thought about till then. He said, “‘For I know the plans I have for you,’ says the Lord, ‘plans to give you a future and a hope. Then you will call upon me and come and pray to me, and I will listen to you. You will seek me and find me when you seek with all of your heart.’[ii] Jordan, just like it says, ‘you will find Him when you search with all of your heart’. Trust Him,” Jason said as the waitress brought us our food.
“Cool,” I said with a smile, “that’s just what I needed to hear. “Thank you,” I said cutting into my first pancake.
The words that Jason told me that day weren’t the straight forward answer I had hoped for, but they were exactly the ones I needed to hear. I learned that day that my hope was in the will of the Lord. I learned that if I seek Him and trust Him with all of my heart, He would work out the rest. He hasn’t disappointed me yet. In fact, at the end of this summer, I’m starting a nine month internship at my church called Elevate. I don’t know what comes after that; I guess I’ll just have to put my hope in the Lord.

[i] Proverbs 3:5-6
[ii] Jeremiah 29:11-13

So yeah, sorry about it being so long… I promise to keep up with it better in the future…

Post coming soon

2006-11-18T13:57:00.000-08:00

Sorry ya'll i haven't updated latley...i've been real busy with basketball and stuff.... but i promise more post are on the way.. :)

2006-11-06T17:08:00.000-08:00

Well after being 5-1 we finally got another win under our belt, putting us at a wopping 2-5. We played Starkey Academy Friday night. We played well, looked more like a team. Cody played very well; he had 12 pts. I had 15 and Brent, our pointgaurd had 23. there were other people that scored but i don't remember each person's as it wasn't hire than 4 pts. and theres nothing against that. there points add to the total... :)

Let me back up. Thursday night at Closer Tori and Heather spoke on "time, Talent, and i think treasure" i know i can't believe i forgot the third point. They did very well...very passionate about what they were talking about. I think it's because it's something that God is really showing htem. It's funny how suddently become very passionate about something when it touches you on a personal level...

Then friday night wasmy game. Tori and mrs. vicki and hten twin came, along with my mom. After the game we ate at dairy queen. I got to play with straws with Rhett and Rhodes...im not real sure if that's howyou spell Rhodes name...neway...After the game I went to Tori's house to watch a movie "firewall" it was good except the ending. It was unusually quiet that night....j.d. was sleeping as well as lincoln and the twins were quiet also...i know surprising...

Saturday i slept in till 12:15 which was awesome...i never get enought sleep anymore... After that me and cody went buy paintball supplies...i can't wait to play... Then I went to 5 o'clock service with my parents. Tweeze preached...he did awesome... :) after the service me and tori and salem went with a bunch of M.A.F.I.A. parents to "punk" pastor Dino's house with Christmas decorations...it was really cool, we have a video but i don't know how to make a link so you'll have to find it yourself ;) we then went each Chinese which was amazing at Super Buffet...totally awesome until i bit into this piece of fish that had fish eggs all over it...totally gross....then me, tori, and cody went watch "flushed away" so funny...they had one part where there were these french frogs and they were about ot go on a mission and the lead frog told them to go to actiona dn they replied "we surrender" so funny...

Sunday me and cody set up the paintball field and played alittle one on one...then i went to the missions bible study at Tori's house...Mr. dan did amazing again...i learn alot from these things...and it'snothing against other bible studies, but i think i learn more when an older more mature christian shares experience as well as knowledge with me...after that stayed at tori's house alittle while then went home...

i think i need to blog more often bc the length of my post are ridiculous...i mean seriously who wants to sit down and read 4 pgs of my weekend...

well that's all for me right now...beside that i want to be more like Christ everyday...i find its so easy to be distracted and waste your time doing meaningless things...you get overwhelmed with the things of life, forget a quiet time here or there and boom...you feel horrible...i hate that feeling...the feeling wehre you know theres something better, but you feel worthless while looking...like you know you shouldn't be back where you are right now...I think what God is trying to show me through this is Grace...I get so focused on doing things "right" that i sometimes forget the whole reason for doing it...I mean i'm not suppose to have quiet time so that i can say that i had quiet time...i should have it to please my father, to seek Him, and only Him...i think sometimes i become legalistic; no i know sometimes i become legalistic...

I guess i wish sometimes i wouldn't be so analytical about everything...you know more laid back...I mean i actually caught myself profiling the people in the life-group...yes it's funny, but really what's the point...so yeah i guess God is teaching me to depend on Him and accept His grace when i fail...because if i dont i become prideful..."how could god forgive "ME"" you see what I mean...our pity becomes an idol in our life...not good...so yeah that's it...i'll get off my soapbox now...

sorry it's so long "again"... :O
in christ,
jordan

2006-10-30T19:55:00.000-08:00

This past week has been really good, minus us losing out in the Maurepas Tourney. Not so good, but we'll have all of our guys back tommorrow night for Centerville.

Like i said i played some basketball games, ate some seafood at Val's with my family and tori and her family. they took the whole crew all the way out to maurepas...very nice and greatly appreciated. We watched Nacho Libre which was pretty good...I thought it was better in the theatre, but it's not really...

WEll this week at school, in my english class our teacher has assigned us to write a five hundred word autobiography about ourselves, obviously...well i decidided that that was a wonderful ministry oppertunity and opted to give my testimony...i then came to the conclusion that i've never really shared my testimony online before so here it is...straight from the digital dropbox...

Where do I begin? There is so much that I want to say. I guess I’ll just start from the beginning. Roughly at the end of my eighth grade year, my parents decided to switch from the Catholic religion to non-denominational. This decision didn’t sit well with me. I liked the Catholic religion; it was easy and the masses were a whole lot shorter. At the mature age of 14 that was all the mattered. In the Catholic religion I had to only be a good person to get to heaven, but in my new church they were saying that I had to have a personal relationship with Christ to get into heaven. “What’s that?” I would think silently. I certainly wasn’t going to ask anyone; I was too cool for that. I remember I use to sit with my arms folded and make fun of everyone. They would raise there hands in worship and I remember thinking they were all hypocrites, just raising their hands because that was what the person beside them was doing. I had a lot to learn.

A few months passed and I began to warm up to this new form of Christianity. I found that, however reluctant I was to admit it, church was actually fun. I began to enjoy going to church. I still didn’t understand everything that took place, and I still had a lot of questions, but I started looking forward to going church, or at least Refuge, our youth ministry.

I guess it was the summer after my ninth grade year that things really began to change in my life. If you know anything about protestant churches, most of them have a summer camp every summer. My new church was no different. It was called “Oasis”, and the speaker was none other than Pastor Dino, the lead pastor of my church. Prior to this summer camp I remember praying that if God was real, He needed to show himself to me in an almost tangible way. I wasn’t settling for anything less than speaking in tongues. I mean I had heard about it and had even heard people speak in it, but I didn’t really believe it. It was definitely something I needed to experience for myself.

So there I was at summer camp having a good time because, well, it was fun. It was the last night of camp. Again if you’ve ever been to a camp, you know the last night is the most powerful; God really shows up strong. Well, Pastor Dino began talking about being empowered by the Holy Spirit. I didn’t know much, but I knew that that meant speaking in tongues and stuff. I knew this is what I had been praying for. As he continued to speak, my hands began to shake and my lips began to quiver. I wasn’t sure, but I thought God was about to reveal Himself to me. As Pastor Dino made his alter call, I found myself standing. I don’t remember walking to the alter, but I definitely remember what happened at the alter. I was standing there shaking and quivering when I felt someone put their hand on my shoulder to pray for me. As they began to pray, I began to convulse. I felt like there was something inside of me trying to come out. I didn’t know what it was, but I surrendered to it. I don’t remember too much of what else happened, but I can honestly tell you that God showed Himself to me, just like I prayed.

That night changed my life forever. God gave me a new, fresh passion for Him. He gave me a passion for my school. God stirred something inside of me that can’t die. Before I had always put my hope in temporary things, but now I found something that would satisfy me for all eternity. Yes I still had ups and downs in my life, but God has stayed faithful through everything. Now some two and a half years later, God has continued to change me. He changed my views on dating and relationships. He changed my views on who I am. He has revealed things about Himself to me and has convicted me on things that hinder Him in my life. He has changed and is continuing to change everything about me. I am by no means perfect or anywhere near what God has called me to be. I screw up more times than I succeed, but I continue to strive to more like Him each day and less like me. I want Him to have complete control of my life. I want my life to be a testimony of His love, and mercy, and grace. I can honestly say that my decision to accept Christ and live a life totally abandoned to Him has been the single, most life-altering decision I have or will ever make.

i hope you enjoyed it...that's all for now... :)

2006-10-22T17:18:00.000-07:00

I know i've said this before, but i just don't know how to start off a post. You know? What's a good opening sentence? I don't know. Anyway, yet agian there has been alot of stuff going on in my life. I guess I'll start off in chronological orderish. Well tuesday we had a game. I was so mad i didn't get to play. I had pulled my lower back the day before. On top of that Will and my dad were both out as well. We eneded up losing by 35 i think...yeah not good.

Well wednesday was refuge. Which was awesome. I had to run lights, so i didn't get to jump around and stuff for worship, but it's ok. Adam explained it to me like this. We're providing an atmosphere of worhsip. so yeah. Well the message was awesome. It really hit home for me because i'm one of those guys that likes to think every thing through. I know it's hard to believe, but i tend to overanalize just a little bitty bit. Ok a lot. So it really challenged me to give God my thoughts as well as my actions.

Then Thursday was "Closer'' , which was also very good. Blake spoke on Shadrack, Meeshack, and Abindigo and how they were thrown into the fire. How when they took a stand for God, King Nebakunezzar, or however you spell it,had them bound and thrown into the fire. Blake related that to how the devil tries to bind you with different things to distract you from God's purpose. It was really cool. Each person had to have their hands bound in front of them. Then me and blake prayed for the guys, and Candice and my mom prayed for the girls. After we prayed for them, we'd cut the rope. It was really cool and to top it off they had jason upton playing, "where the spirit of the lord is" in the background. Now this is cool. When i was praying for my friend Shae, in the middle of the prayer wihtout me touching it, his rope fell off. Oh yeah it was God. Then after Bible study i hung out with Tori and her family.

Friday we had another basketball game, which i didn't get to play. We only lost by 12 which was really good considering we had 3 starters sitting and our 7th man. to top it off though Brent, our awesome point gaurd broke his nose, so now he's out. After the game, me tori and cody went watch open season at the rave. It was "cute". But seriously I really enjoyed it.

Saturday i had to work, grrrhh, but it was my last day unless they call me to fill in. Then saturday night we had a service in my school gym, which was really cool. Not too many people showed up, but i don't measure success by numbers. It was cool because my mom, step-dad, dad, step-mom, tori and blake were all their. After t he service I went back to Tori's house and watch run-away bride of all things. but it was good and i've never seen it. so yeah that's been my week..

later
in christ
jordan

sorry this one's a long one... :)

2006-10-16T19:10:00.000-07:00

Well there are quite a few things going on in my head right now...so i guess i can tell you i don't know how long this post is going to be because my thoughts are all jumbled...so bear with me if it's kinda incoherent... :) Well firstly, pertaining to my game last thursday, we won...i think by five...it was quite interesting. We played our district rivals at their place and it was intense...so intense that one of our guys ended up being thrown out, suspended from school for 5 days and from basketball for a few weeks i think...yeah that'll kinda hurt us...but we'll make it...me personally, i actually played very well and didn't loose my composure like most people where expecting me to...my teammates said it was on account of someone that was in the stands that night... :) idk..

Friday night was unplugged, which was awesome... it wasn't packed or anything, so we got to hang out without being sardeense or however you spell it... We got to play Taboo, which is one of my favorite games and battleship, though i personally didn't play it... ;) There was alittle drama as can be expected i guess, but it all worked out for the best i think...

Saturday morning i worked and made some moola... Saturday night i went to church and pastor dino spoke on Miracles and stuff..the message was really good...basicallly he said that if you have aproblem, your a canidate for a miracle..and how hte little boy with the fish, wasn't until he gave up what he had...so yeah it was cool...then after the service me and my sister went eat at whole foods mart with Tori, Mr. Dan, Mrs. Vicki, Rhett and Rhodes, Lincoln, J.D. and his friend which i forgot his name but i think it's like two names as one or something...basically it was us and Tori's whole family added one... :) anyway we had a good time... then we went look around at some shops and i saw a pair of jeans that were regularily $70 for $15 and like an idiot i didn't buy them because i thought they were too big...STUPID...oh well...

Sunday i had to work the Creole Festival in French Settlement, which was ok..i had to work the dunking booth, which became remarkably popular as soon as i got in... :( it was cold... but it was cool..all my friends where there plus one...then me and tori went to her house for the Missions bible study that her dad led....it was really good....the basis of it was "obedience" it's kinda like when someone ask you a question and you say, "pray for God's will" it's international...something so simple, yet is sometimes so hard... oh and then my dad had to go to the emergency room bc he had kidney stones...not cool...i hear it's the equivilent of a woman having a baby...but he's doing better... :)

Ok and now for what God's been showing me... Well i guess it kinda goes back to the whole obedience thing...He's really showing me that i should be obedient to His spirit no matter what it cost...I may not understand, but it should be enough that it's God telling me to do it...after all he does have my best in mind... I guess he's also showing me dedication...you know, not getting distracted and stuff...sometimes it's so hard... But i had a really good quiet time tonight and really want to grow closer to Him...like i don't want to be the same person anymore...like i hate going hot/cold all the time...i'm one of those people that will pursue something really intentlly, but then it fizzles out...well i don't want that to be the way it is with God...i don't want to only half way seek Him...i want to run after Him...i want Him to completely change me...to completely rock my world...i pray that He would help me crucify the desires of "my'" heart and give me the desires of His heart...i hate what i love...i don't want to be myself...i want to die to Self and live with Christ...I want to give up everything for Him...i don'twant anything to hold me back from Him...i never ever want to grow complacent in my walk with HIm...it's easy to get "used" to God...when that happens, i think we become unusable...our relationship needs to stay fresh...we can't depend on all the old things we did to sustain us...it's like any relationship; it takes work and dedictation...and it takes sacrifice...

i geuss God is also showing me what real sacrifice is...i have to be willing to let go of anything He ask...i want to let go of anything that is hindering me from drawing closer to Christ...You know we'll never see change until we're willing to sacrifice for it...When someone gives you something...you like it alot for a while, but then you grow tired of it...but something you that you earn and sacrifice for, you hold dearly. You won't ever let it go because you know how much it cost you...that's how it is with us and God...we have to hold on to Him like there's no tommorrow...because we're not garunteed tommorrow....yeah i don't know where that came from...kinda off topic...but i geuss the bottom line is that i love God...I want to be more like Him...iwant mySelf to decrease and for Him to increase in my life...I want His will for mylife more than anything else...so yeah...God is awesome... :)

i know it's kinda all over the place, but ohwell...hopefully you understand most of what i'm saying....

in christ,
jordan

short post for real

2006-10-11T19:49:00.000-07:00

Ok so i know, or at least i think, i said my last post was going to be short because i was tired, well this one really is...because i'm tired... :)

anyway i'd like to just say that God is so awesome...it's so cool how he know's what we're going through even if we're scared to tell Him. Remember from my last post how i was dealing with worry over my future and God's will for my life...well tonight at service tweeze hit the nail on the head for me...it was so cool...i just felt like God is telling me to chill out and that if i continue to seek Him and His will everything will be ok...I may not know the end of the road or where it's going, but He does...and that's good enough for me...

well see i told you i'd keep it short...or at least short for me... :)

in christ,
jordan

Distraction meets Trust or something that hopefully sounds smart but probably not...idk don't ask... :)

2006-10-10T19:57:00.000-07:00

Well alot has been going on with me lately...i'm kind of tired so i'm going to just put everything outhere... :) I guess what God has really been showing me that i have to trust Him more...you know we always say Lord i give you my future, my desires, my everything, but do we really mean it...? When our future is at stake and our desires are running rampart, do we still trust God with them...Unfortuanetlly for me, sometimes the answer is no...i've been having a lot on my mind lately about alot of different things...and i've gotten really stressed out...I've been worrying and thinking and dwelling on eventualities and stuff...the "what if's" if you will...and it's really not good for my health; the worrying part i mean...theres actually a scripture, and i'm not sure on the exact reference that pretty much says, "don't worry" I"m like hello...come on jordan...so yeah, i've been talking to my parents about it and they believe i'm just overanalyzing things, which is a good possibility... if you don't know me, i am always overanalyzing...I actually think the devil is trying to distract me by using my worry... and what's so hard is that i'm worried about whether this situation is God's will and stuff like that...but i had a good quiet time tonight and God really gave me some peace...i still don't really know all of His will, but i guess i'll never know it...actually mr. dan told me the other day of an analogy he heard concerning God's will...basically it's goes like this, and i hope i don't screw this up to bad, but your in a car...and you can only see as far as the headlights allow...you know there's more road ahead, but you know that you can only worry about that when the headlights show it to you...so basically don't worry about the far far future...we have to trust God to show us what we need to know and believe that He'll guide us through the rest when it comes...

Kinda going along the trust line; i was reading my bible tonight and i remembered the scripture Proverbs 3:5-6 "Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not to you own understanding. in all your ways acknoweledge Him and He shall direct your paths." I've read this scripture before, and even have it committed to memory, but something stuck out to me tonight that i haven't thought about before...it says to trust in the lord with all of your heart, and well we say we do that, but as i was thinking about it and thinking of what's going on in my own heart, we really, or at least me, mostly trust Him when things are going good. We can say in the good times that we trust Him with everything but in the bad we question...why is that? Or when we're scared to voice to God our emotions or feelings because we don't know if they're His will...you know what..God already knows what we're thinking, feeling, and everything! its no secret to Him! It all goes back to trust; when we don't intentionally tell God our thoughts and stuff in essence we're saying we don't trust You God, you couldn't possibly understand...and like i said this is a completley knew thought to me also, so i'm going through it too...

But like i said I had a great quiet time and God is teaching me to simply wait on Him..not get caught up in my own little world of questions and insecurities, but to trust Him alone and to know that he has my best in mind...

With all that's been going on in my head, God has made me very aware of how thankfull i am for my parents and other Godly mentors and friends that help me through these times...thank you God for everything...You are so awesome...!!!! and thanks again friends...:) yeah i know it was kinda corny, but oh well i really am thankfull for ya'll...you all challenge me in more ways than you know....

and that's about it...i'm going to bed now, and i can't wait for tommorrow...yay it's refuge...oh an dthursdday we have our jamborree, or hwoever you spell it...we're playig Holden...our rivals...so yeah it'll be a pretty intense game...but we're ready...so yeah... :)

later
in christ
jordan

NO MORE MYSPACE FOR ME...

2006-10-02T14:27:00.000-07:00

Ok so here's the deal...if you haven't guessed i deleted my myspace...yeah i know it's a shocker for me too...but that's just the point...i had become too addicted to it...it was taking up too much of my time and focus...I would get on with the intention of only checking my stuff and looking at a few friends pages, but before i would realize it, i would be on there for well over an hour...not a very healthy habit if you ask me... not only that, but the advertisements on there are not that good...i mean have you seen them...not good...i still don't understand how those pictures can make anyone think of "true love" more along the lines of definite lust...so yeah that was another contributing factor...and then there is of course the very riscae pages out there that have not so good stuff...enough said...for the most part i don't think each of these things in and of themself are that bad, minus the riscae and provactive, but added together, they are damaging to my spiritual life...and i definitely don't want to do that...i want to continue to grow closer to God not farther away...so those are some main factors for why i deleted my myspace...

some other factors are that the alot of the people i talk to on there have deleted theirs or get on sparesly enough to even say they have one...first Telia deleted hers, and i thought "there is noway i could do that"; red flag number one...i must always be willing to give up anything to grow closer to God...so for a about a week i've been thinking of deleting it for that very reason, but never reallly did...then Tori deleted her's, again God challenged me to delete mine...but i believe the devil was trying to trick me for two reasons: first, if i delete mine right after she deletes her's what will people think...to that i say fewee, when God leads, He leads...i must follow. and the second reason i believe the devil was trying to trick me into keeping my myspace by saying it was a "tool" to reach people...you know my space is a testimony...and for the most part it was...i was getting to talk to some people that i normally don't talk to about somethings we normally don't talk about, but what was the price...for me it was always having the oppertunity to use myspace to sin...the devil new that if i kept my myspace, even under the pretense of it being a tool, he coud cause me to sin...and when i measure either me speaking to someone about jesus, some i can tell that to at school, and me sinning, there is no choice...I have to put my spiritual well being over a "tool" i mean it would be stupid for me not too...

so all of that mumbo jumbo to tell ya'll "i deleted my myspace" i hope this helps you understand my thinking and what not...so yeah...my God is awesome...there is none like Him...and I hope and pray that He continues to challenge me, and grow me, and mold me.... :)

in christ,
jordan

I am excited!!!!

2006-10-01T16:10:00.000-07:00

Well I am excited for quite a few reason...First let me give you alittle background info...last friday morning i was talking to Tweeze about ministry and college and stuff and just what i was feeling about both...like i said last post, i don't really want to go to college because i want to go into fulltime ministry...anyway i was telling him how my parents thought it would be best for me to get a degree, "just in case" or to "provide for my family" I don't too much agree with the first reason, because i know God will provide for me and as for the second, i don't believe God would call me to ministry and then give me a high-maintence wife that wants all kind of material things...so it seems those two reasons aren't that valid for me...

Anyway i was talking to him and we prayed that my parents would see God's will for my life and embrace it. Well that day at lunch my dad told me that he had already given me his opinion, but the decision was mine because i was a man; yes kinda hard to believe. So i was like man God your awesome. Well it gets better, the next day my step mom, mrs. melee said that my they had all gotten together and talked about it and said that they would back me and believe for me no matter what I chose to do....God is double awesome...I am like super-excited...i can't wait to do elevate and see what God has for me...I can't wait to depend on Him even more than I do now...What's even cooler though, is that i am also beginning to believe that God is calling me to go overseas and be a missionary...i don't know where or when or for how long, i just know it's going to happen, and i can't wait...I want to impact everyone around me for Jesus and I want to impact the world for Him...

Oh and another cool thing that happend this weekend was Tori's birthday party thing...it was really fun...we went eat sushi at HelloSuchi's, which was fanamonal, if that's how you spell it. Then we went hang out on the top of whatever building tsunami's is, which was also really fun. We got to hang out and talk about stuff... :) Oh and i wash pushed in the fountains by my dearest friend Mickey, but i'm not mad becaus ei know i wouldn't have gotten in otherwise...We then drove soaking wet back to tori's house where we hung out til around 1. Which was a miracle in itself because i know if it were my parents they would have made everyone go home long ago...it was really fun, we played video games and hung out...i wasnt good at any of the games, but i enjoyed the company...oh and Tori's little brothers Rhett and Roades are awesome...they're so cute...cough cough anyway i had alot of fun...before i left we had some more positive discussions... :) and that was the night...i got home around 1ish and went to bed...

The only not so cool thing about this weekend was that i had to go to the emergency room because my chest was hurting...the ekg and the heart thingy didn't say anything was wrong with me and he didn't say it was anxiety, but it still hurt...so i don't know....anyway my mom thinks i had an anxiety attack because i had some rather stressful discussions this past weekend...so...but i don't know...good new....i got off of work for two days... :)

and that's about it...I can't wait for wednesday...I think i'm speaking at Healing Hands again and then of course there's Refuge wheich is going to be awesome....then thursday's Closer at the Ohlerkings which is always fun... so yeah that's about it...

in christ,
jordan

NO COMPROMISE

2006-09-26T18:56:00.000-07:00

Well lately I've been reading this really good book on the life of Keith Green called "no compromise". It is a slammin book...i've been learning so much from it. The book starts out with him on a search for a higher spiritual truth; the problem is that he goes through all kinds of things on his search, from the occult to drugs and beyond. It's really sad. But when He finally finds the answer in Christ, he chases after Him with total abandonment. His convictions are so strong...he doesn't want anything to come in the way of his relationship with Christ. He comes to the point where he is willing to give up the life of his wife and child to please the Lord.

Man I want that...i want my life to be completely and soley His. I don't want there to be any desires in my heart that are not from my Father. I want everything in me to be pointed to Christ. Every action or thought i have must be for His will...Gosh i want His will in my life so bad...i don't want to do anything against His will..i don't want to do anything that has me in it. everything i do should be for Him and for his purposes. I just really want to grow deeper in Him...I want more intimacy with Christ than i've ever had... I want more sacrifice than ever before...I want to know him more everyday...I want everything in me to point to Christ. I don't want people to see me when they look at me...I want to hear His voice in my life...i just can't put into words my desire to know Him...it's like there's a burning inside of me that wants to come out...I want to be completley changed by Christ; Lord place the coal on mylips and purify me...I don't want their to be anythign of me left when Your done...God take me life; take everything within me: my desires, fears, goals, future; Lord take everything...i give it to you...Father help me crucify the Self within me; Lord crucify my desires and hopes... Lord you are my Hope and future...God i give you it all...Lord take my life if it's required...I am yours...

I guess kinda going along the lines of my future I'd like to let ya'll know what's going on in my head...I want so badly to affect people for Christ; almost to the point where i don't even know if i want to go to college...I want to go into ministry and go overseas and everything....i just don't know right now what God's will is for me in this area of my life...I want to do whatever it is that he commands me to, i just don't know what it is right now...God's really testing my trust and faith in Him right now...

Well i guess that's aboutit for now...of course there's more stuff goingon in my life right now, i'm just not going to tell you about it yet... :) sorry................................well i love you guys and thanks so much for being an encouragement to me...ya'll really make me want to be more like Christ...thank you so much....

in christ,
jordan

don't know what to title this one so i won't title it anything...

2006-09-17T18:23:00.000-07:00

I was going to type something else, but as i sat down to type the words were lost to me...so you know what... God is awesome...that's all that matters. I'm learning that it doesn't matter what i'm going through or how I feel, the only thing that matters is praising God. I had a really good quiet time tonight with God. God has really been challenging me on surrendering everything to Him. Not just a few things but everything...my hopes, my dreams, my relationships...and with college right around the corner, it is a scary thing, surrendering one's hopes and dreams...of course i don't really know what i want to do with my life...i've always wanted to write and go into ministry, but i guess i'll get a degree...i'm still praying about it...

God has also been showing me that if i want more intimacy with Him, it is going to require more sacrifice...more time in His presence, less time doing other things...I don't want anything to take away from the intimacy i get to spend with Him...

God has also been teaching me to trust Him no matter what my circumstances may be or what I think i want...if it's not His will, i don't want it, even if i think i do...if that makes since....

so basicallyl allthat rambling to say that God is amazing and I'm excited abuot growing closer to Him...I want to know Him more and more...no matter what it cost...and i find that the more i surrender to His will, the more freedom I have...

so yeah God is awesome...I love Him alot and that's about it...

in christ,
jordan

sorry about it beeing so long

2006-09-16T07:32:00.000-07:00

ok sorry you guys, I know it's been a long time since i've posted. I guess I've just been kinda busy. Between basketball practice, work, lifegroups and church, and writing scholarship essays, i haven't really had time to post or do much of anything. This leads me to the first thing that God has been showing me: SLOW DOWN, I've been trying to do too much. I've been neglecting things that are important and eternal for things that are temporary. I have also neglected another important activity: sleep. yep yep, with all the other things that "demanded" my attention, i've neglected a very vital part of my day. Which in turn causes me to be grouchy....but alas God, as always, grabbed ahold of me. He's taught me again to submit everything to Him and trust Him with it all...this is especially true partaining to college and scholarships and stuff...i've been feeling like i'm running out of time to make up my mind on a college and stuff and then there's the scholarships...He's shown me to just trust Him and pray for His will...I want His will....He's also shown me that if I desire more intimacy with Him it will require more sacrifice by Me...i can't go deeper at the level i'm at...i must continue to die to myself allowing Him more control of me life...so that's what he's teaching me...trust, dependence, and surrender...

Oh there is one reallly cool thing that is happening at my school in my english class...we're doing this free write thing where the teacher gives us a word and we have to right for 10 minutes...well i love to write, and the beauty of it is i can write about anything dealing with that word, read it before the class, and they have to say thank you at the end...i defintely see a ministry oppertunity here...i have a captive audience...yay...so yeah pray that God will give me a creative way to relate His message to those around me through this....

well that's about it for now...i'll be keeping ya'll posted more than what i've done in the past...so yeah..i'm excited...i love god and jesus...and i want to see my school changed....so that's about it..

in christ,
jordan

2006-09-05T15:20:00.000-07:00

I never really know how to start a post...so i guess as normal...i'll just "dive right into it" as i've seemed to have coined rather often...but before i start i have one question, how come sometimes i can hit the enter button to start another paragraph but when i try other times it goes down to publish or whatever...? just a question...so yeah all ideas will be seperated by elipsies or however you spell it...ok so here we go...i'll start off by saying that i read tori's blog today and was totally blown away...everything she said, including what Jamie and Amy Philips both said about sometimes not feeling it or whatever...well i'll go on ahead and give you a peek inside my head...Why is it that sometimes you feel so on fire for God it's addictive, but others you can't feel Him anywhere...you try to pray but your prayers come out hollow...you try to listen, but if seems useless...? Well these where questions that I was dealing with last night as i tried to have my quite time...everything i prayed came out hollow, devoid of emotion...It felt like i was just going through the motions...I just couldn't, im my limited view, couldn't get into His presence, but i didn't want to give up...I don't really know where the transition took place, but as i found myself thinking of a life without His presence I began to weep...i thought of the hollow feeling i had now and then thought of life and eternity this way; it was more than i could bare...i began to think of how my heart and actions were keeping me from God's presence, and i began to lose control of my emotions...i don't want to live a life for myself anylonger...I don't want anything to take precidence over my Lord...all of the activities that i was pursuing where pointless...all the stress i had created by procrastinating on my homework was pointless...life without His presence is utterly pointless...I never want to feel that way again...I think last night was really a turning point for me in my walk with Christ...that feeling i had, reallly made me evaluate what was important, and anythingthat doesn't lead my closer to christ is insignificant, utterly pointless...I just don't care anymore for myself...i don't want my life to be about me; i am insignificant, it is only Christ inside of me that matters...I have come to the point where i am completely willing to give up anything and everything to follow Him...His will is my one true desire...nothing else matters...what's also really cool about last night, was that like tori, i flipped open to Psalms 46:10 "be still and know that I'm God", how cool is that...with that being said, i would like to add some more of what's goingon in my life, but this thought will run together with my last because i can't skip lines for some reason...anyway here we go.................there that'll do........It seems that everytime I really make a break through, the devil throws another thing at me...this time it's anger...I've never really had a problem before with it except on rare occasions on the court, but now, it's a regular emotion for me to experience during practice of all things...and unfortuantelly i'm not talking about just being a little mad, i wouldn't go as for as rage, but it's not too too far off...i'll mess up once or twice and then it's over...i just lose it...the other day i ended up counting otlike 150 trying to refocus and get myself under control...I hate being angry, but then again sometimes i like it...at least at the time...but mostly i hate it...i hate that it compromises my witness, i hate that i lose control of myself, but mostly i hate that my actions are an outward expression of my heart...i don't want anger to dwell in my heart...i want only christ to live there...so yeah, i've talked to tweeze about it and set up accountability, so hopefully with much prayer and accountability we'll be able to deal with it...so yeah that's what has been going on in my life recently... : ) in christ, jordan

a post after a post... : )

2006-09-01T10:39:00.000-07:00

Ok I don't really know what to say today...I know you've come to expect something profound from me, but i don't think it's going to happen today...

I guess i'll start off by saying that the other day i met with tweeze about some things, and he suggested i get one of those one year bibles...well i did and it's been great reading...before this, i've never really read out of the old testement, but with this new bible, it kinda forces you too. well i've been reading out of Job, and i've learned some things...or at least been convicted of things...I think the thing that God is trying to show me from Job is not to become proud no matter how passionate and on fire for Him you are...pride is pride...

And is it just me or was tweeze's message last wednesday incredible or what...it challenged me on so many levels...I mean i want to start a revolution in my school, i mean just the other day i spoke at Healing Hands on not wasting your time, making the most of every oppertunity, and stepping out...i know God is going to do something incredible in my school this year, but i also want him to do soemthing incredible inside my heart...i want to be completley transformed by Him...I don't want to get distracted by anything or anyone...my life is His...

Another thing God has been showing me is to take advantage of every oppertunity i have to share Christ with someone, not just in words, but in deed also...He's showing me that there are plenty of oppertunities to be Jesus to many many people, i just have to look for it and act upon it...another thign God is showing me, kinda going along those lines, is that I shouldn't ahve to be convicted to do soemthign i know i should do...

oh and just a side not of something that is cool...the other day a guy by the name of Jeremy Simon, the youth pastor for the Freedom Churh in coyell called me and iformed me that they wanted to provide donouts every wednesday morning for Healing Hands...way cool...i'm super syked...

and i cant wait for the water outreach today, it's been like forever since i've been on one...wahoo....ok i think that's it...if i think of something later i'll just post again...

in christ,
jordan

2006-08-25T16:00:00.000-07:00

Well I'll get right to the point. As I mentioned in my last post, I had started reading "Rachel's Tear's", it's a biography on one of the martyr's. I'll start out by saying that this book is one of the best books i've read in a while; yes the structure and grammer isn't there, but it was written by her family so it cancels out...sorry I have a pet peeve for grammer...anyway besides that, this book was amazing. It challenged me in so many areas of my life. One area of her life that stuck out to me was her reckless abandon for Christ; she put Him above everything else. She didn't care what her "friends" thought or anyone else; she only cared about pleasing her Father. She knew what she was here for and set about doing it. I can say all day long that I don't care what people think about me, which is partially true, but as I read the story of her life and the boldness of her faith, I find myself questioning what I really think. I find myself evaluating whether or not I care what other's think of me; and as i dwell on it, I find that deep down I do. From this book my conviction to find my security in Christ alone has only increased. I have to make it a priority to put what He thinks about me before what others think or believe. I don't want my way of thinking to limit Christ's influence in my life or in the life of my friends. I want to trust him completely.

Another thing I noticed about Rachel's character was her compassion for the people around her. It didn't matter who you were; you could have been the most hated person in school and she still would have reached out to you. Again, it goes back to that "I don't care what you think" attitude. I want the compassion she has. What was so great about it, which i greatly respect, is that she never really had to "preach" to someone to witness to them. The love she had for the people around her was evident to all and had a much greater impact than being 'religious'... Before reading this book, I was always under the impression that witnessing to someone was "preaching" at them. This book has greatly changed my prespective on the matter. I've realised that if I just show people true, genuine love, I'll almost never have to preach. I've also realized that the only way I can show people true, genuine love is if Christ's love is in me. Anything else would be fake and superficial...

I think one of the reasons this book has had such a profound impact on me is because it's not just a self-help book. It's doesn't just give you someone's view on a subject; this book is about this girl's life. I guess the view that I'm reading from just makes it so much more powerful.

And finally, I like to share with you a new conviction of mine about reading. If you don't know me, then i'll tell you right now, I'm an avid reader. I absolutley love to read. As soon as i'd finish one book, i'll go to another. The problem with that is that I would never give myself enough time to really apply what I've learned from these books. I'd read, say, "yep that's great" and move on. Well I don't want to do that any more. I want to find practical ways to put into practice the things I learn. So that's what I'm going to do. I got out my little notebook and a pen and im praying and thinking of ways to put this into play...so basically my soap box for this week, I'd like to encourage you to find practical ways to put into practice the Holy Spirit convicts you of...

so yeah that's it...and i'm mad that tori get's to eat sushi with my mom tonight and i don't...grrrr :(

2006-08-22T18:36:00.000-07:00

Well, where do I begin...I guess I'll just dive right into it...first and foremost, God is amazing...there's no if, ands, or buts about it...he just is...

It's hard to describe what's been going on this past week with me...but for the sake of a testimony, i'll try...I'll start out by saying that i've been reading this book Authentic Beauty by Leslie Ludy...yes it's a chick book, and yes there is a reason I would be reading, just be patient...ok so I bought this book originaly to better understand girls and what they go through... i figured if i knew, I would be better able to encourage them and direct them to Christ, which ultimately is what i want to happen with everyone i come into contact with...anyway what I thought would be a look into the female physce actually became a challenging experience...let me explain... though this book is geared towards women, it spoke to me as well...it talked about you being the sanctuary of God and how you must continually clean it, continually gaurd it, and continually use it...I look at my life, and I see all kind of junk that lay scattered everywhere in my sanctuary, and i don't want that...i want my sanctuary to be pure and blameless without blemish...I want my God to feel welcomed and wanted...I want my God to feel adored when he thinks of me... the book also talks about living a life of intimacy and living a life of worship... as i read her story, I find myself longing for what she has...I know i've said it before, but I just long to know my king more and more everyday...I long to grow in my love and adoration for Him everyday...I long to live a life of abandonment for Him that died for me...I mean this book has challenged me in so many ways...

I was talking to Tori the other day, and I shared how God has been showing me that the Cross is more than an icon...its more than something we passingly thank God for...think about this, I mean really think about it...The son of God came down to this earth, became flesh, lived and impacted people around him, and then willingly laid down His holy, precious life for you and me...now you have to envision it...don't just think of the cross, but the broken body that also was crucified upon it...now tell me you don't want to life a life of abandonment for Him that died for you...tell me that...He wasn't just some nice guy that died for a cause, He was the son of God...he could have easily chose another way...instead He followed His Father's will and died for you and me...thus bridging the gap...tell me you can't live a life of abandonment for Him...

I think of the cross and it just inspires me to think differentlly, it inspires me to speak differentally, it inspires me to live differentally...I don't want to live like all of the other passive Christians...I want every waking moment of my life to scream to the world, that i love Jesus Christ with all my heart, soul, mind, and strength...I want everyone i come into contact with to think that that's what Jesus must have been like...I want everyone around me to feel the lack of what I have...I want to impact and influence the world around me...i want to do all of this not for me or for my glory, but for God's...I want His name to be lifted above everything else...I don't want anyone to remember who I am, but only God...I want to live a set-apart life...one like no other...

And I guess one of the other things that God has really been showing me is surrender...and I'm not talking about just saying it during worship, "God I surrender everything to you" but a life of complete surrender...a life that no one has to say is surrendered...a life that speaks for itself...God is showing me that everything in my life, must be submitted and surrendered to Him...He's showing me that if i am to live a life that is truly set-apart for Him, my whole excistance must be centered around Him...I find now more than ever the power of His conviction...I find that anything I would normally due without a second thought, God is convicted me to think of Him...everything I do must be centered around Him...every area of my life must be surrendered to Him...I want my life to be a "living sacrfice holy and acceptable" to my Lord and Savior...

I just bought a book called "Rachael Tears" a biography on the life of Rachael Scott, the student at Colombine Highschool, that was killed for her faith in Christ...I haven't read much of it yet, but i can already tell that it is going to be very good, and that it is going to challenge me to live a life of complete abandonment no matter what the consequences might be...I think i'm ready to live that way, I pray that i'm ready, I know that through God's strength I am...

I can't wait to see what God is going to do tommorrow with our healing hands club and what he's going to do through chad daniel tommorrow night at Refuge...I'm anticipating and expecting for God to move like He's never moved before...I know I won't be disappointed...

Well thank you all for sticking with me and continuing to read even when I get on my "soap box" stay strong in the Lord....

In Christ,
Jordan

Ambassadors of Christ!!!

2006-08-18T21:18:00.000-07:00

Ok I guess I should start out by saying that, though this post was inspired by my quiet time tonight, Tori also played a part in the making of this post...being as she imformed me today that i was due for another...so this one's sorta for you Tori.. I'll start from the begginning...tonight cody and I were playing fooshball, if that's how you spell it, well anyway, I was playing ok, but i kept losing...eventually after three consecutive losses I was "hot" for loss of a better word...basically i was in a horribly angry bad mood...after the third game i decided that i didn't need to play anymore, but instead go have quiet time...so yeah that's what I did... From my little tirad, God convicted and showed me that when it comes to sports and competition, I have a slight anger problem...so i've come up with a solution...well actually i read it in a book, go figure... everytime i find myself getting angry i'm going to begin to pray for a lost friend...it's called the below the belt move...oh yeah that's right... so yeah in my quiet time i was reading in the Max Q book, and it had a scripture that i found amazing...2Corinthians 5:20 "we are therefore Christ's ambassadors, as though God were making His appeal through us. We implore you on Christ's behalf: be reconciled to God." isn't that amazing we are here to be represenatives of christ to present God's appeal...wow...but that's not the best part...i kept reading and Paul was writing about all the things he's gone through for christ...and at the very bottom he says that he has "nothing, and yet possesses everything"...I want to be like that...he just doesn't care about anything but the will of His father...I find myself praying more and more for his will, like i don't want to do anything that doesn't align with His will...and the more i strive to be like Christ, the more i see the devil trying to bring me down...mainly with distractions... ok and finally i kinda forgot about this until now, but it's super important...yesterday at school this guy david came and told me that his dad was diagnosed with cancer in the esaphogus, or however you say it, and i felt that god wanted me to pray for him...but i didn't...i stood there and let him walk away because i cared what people thought of me...i knew it was wrong as soon as he left, but by then it was too late...so i determined in my mind that bigolly i would pray for him the next day...so the first thing i did when i got to school was walk up to him...ask him if i could pray for him...and i went for it...it was a very releasing experience...like as soon as i began to pray for him, i could feel other people's eyes on me...but amazingly I didn't care...in fact, i wanted them to see...i wanted them to know there was something different about me...i wanted them to know that i love my god enough not to care what they thought....i wanted them to know that God was going to do something amazing in our school this year...i wanted it...yes i was scared, but God gave me the strength...it's kinda like that church sayingn goes, "you may do things scared, but you'll never do things alone," I can honestly tell you that iwas scared today, but with even more truth i can say i was not alone...i couldn't have been...there is noway i would do something like that on my own accord...it had to be God...and that's my story and i'm sticking to it...lol... well that's me for ya...oh and if the first part of this entry sounds all crazy, it's because my friend mickey kept talking to me as i was trying to post...lol...so yeah...

my week since the 9th...

2006-08-15T18:47:00.000-07:00

Well I'll dive right into this one...last wednesday we started school...Finally...ever since summer camp i've been waiting for school to start...you know i didn't want to lose the fire...but as it turns out...God is amazingly faithful...this year, the fire actually grew to a blaze...for the past week i've really been seeking HIm...I want Him to be my only source of comfort, my only source of hope, my only source of strength...and as i seek these things, i feel that He's telling me that He is, but I first must trust Him implicitly...and I want to...oh how i want to...but it's hard sometimes...i've sat on the throne of my life for so long its hard to kick mySelf off of it...but i know i must...so God's giving me the strength...

I want to know HIm like i've never known Him before...I don't ever want to lose my passion for Him...it's easy sometimes to get distracted by the things of this world...i.e. the hastle of school, the crazyiness of a social life, or whatever it may be...but I know that God is asking me to focus on Him alone right now...not a grade or a relationship, but Him...Oh how i want to know Him like David did...I want God to convict me and change me...i don't want to ever be the same again...as i listen to Hillsongs new cd, i find myself praying along with the song..."in my life be lifted high, in my world be lifted high, in my love be lifted high" I want every single thing I do or say to lift my lord higher...everything i do to bring Him praise...He's asking me to surrender...I've said I've done it before, but never with such motivation behind me...before it was always a head knowledge, but now, i desire it with all of my heart...i read books of christians that lived soled out lives, and I want that...I don't want to live the mondane...i want to live a spontanious life for Christ...one that is a beacon to the world around me...I want to bring my God praise...

So back to school...I'm so excited about it starting back up...I can't wait for our Healing Hands ministry to get started back up...i talked to our counsler today about it and we are going to be much more involved...we're handing out flyers and everything to get everyone's attention...the first week this girl jamie is giving her testimony from camp and following right after her, I'll be asking everyone "in" the club, regular attenders, to be back next week, which is when I'll "charge" them with what God has spoke to me since summer camp...I can't wait....

Oh and of course the 11th was my birthday, and me and a bunch of friends from French Settlement and parkvied, and of course i couldn't forget Tori the hustler..jk...though she did shoot some amazing shots....well we all went to celebration stationa nd had a blast....the next day was the 12 andI was supposed to get my tattoo...it was really cool looking...but on the morning of the 12th iwas praying about it and felt that God wanted me to hold off on it...i'd be lying to you if i said i was happy, but after talking to my mentor...i followed God's leading, though i didn't know the reason for the conviction at the time...now this is cool...when i got back to codys house later that day and told his dada ,nonbeliever, i didn't get it he was very excited... as it turned out he had been praying that i wouldn't get my tattoo...so yeah that was kinda cool...sorta a testimony....yay...

ok so i know it was kinda long and not very coherent especially the last paragraph...but yeah thats been my week...

oh sorry one more thing...Refuge is going to be awesome tommorrow...

ok now i'm d0ne...

cool week

2006-08-09T19:27:00.000-07:00

Hey ya'll there are a few things that have happened to me in the past week...we'll start off with the most importa: I got all my hair cut of; just joking, that's not the most important thing...but close...

Seriously though, last night at like midnight Julia, our German foreign exchange student, got here. It was really cool waiting there for her with everyone. Though she is very different than me, I believe we'll both learn alot from each other...so I guess all in all, i'm excited about this.

And finally, service tonight, what can I say; it was amazing...there was so much energy in the sanctuary...I know most people don't care that much for junior high students, myself included...lol...but tonight was awesome, and they definitely played a large role in that...what was even more amazing than all the energy, though, was the intense presence of God...I mean I even felt Him in the Tech booth...lol...but seriously, tonight was crazy... : ) Tonight really challenged me to pursue Him in my quiet time, like we all pursued Him tonight. It also got me even more fired up about school and FCS...well that's about it ya'll late.

Yeah this one was long in coming!!!

2006-08-05T18:42:00.000-07:00

Ok so as you know, I haven't been on the internet in like 40 days and can I say alot has happened in that time...So I beg you to bear with me as I try to communicate all that I've learned and done in that time...

I guess firstly I would have to talk about how summer camp impacted me...To say the least, camp was amazing...Pastor Adam is the man; he's such a good speeker/communicator and he knows how to fire you up...so basically that's what camp did for me...it fired me up...it made me realize even more that christianity was never and will never be about me, but only about my Lord...It convicted me "again" to abandon myself to Him, surrender everything, and live completly for Him, guided by Him, devoted to Him...It got me fired up about school, which is something I'm normally not...I was ready for school to start like the day we got back from camp...but alas its only 4 days away... :-) And finally it convicted me on dedication...I'm a hot cold kinda guy most of the time...and can i tell you that is not the way to be...when I get something in my head I devote all of my energy to doing it...the only downside is the thing i'm on fire about normally doesn't last that long...kinda like a phase....God convicted me that He is not a phase...He is my life, my everything, my all-in-all...so needless to say camp showed me some things about myself...

After camp HPC had VBS which was totally crazy...on one of the days the kids from the Green group actually tackled me and brought me to the ground...I was scared I was going to smush one of them...lol... Camp really made me appreciate parents...I honestly don't know how they do it...I love kids and all, but this camp definitely showed me that I am not ready to be a parent...way to much work...but it also inspired me...it showed me how great kids are and what great parenting and great leadership can do in the life of a kid...I think what i enjoyed the most about camp was seeing all those little kids jump up and down to those corny songs...lol...

Oh and between those two events, I have also been helping out at the annex, going on Serve Team outreaches, and attending Equip classes...all of which have stretched and grew me...reaching out to people on the street has given me a desire to be bold and not care what people think...the first time was kinda scary, but after that i got the hang of it and had no problem walking up to complete strangers...working at the annex has given me an appreciation for all of the many people that it takes to run a church...kinda like the whole Corinthians "one body is made up of many parts"...I forgot to mention that obviously I wasn't the only Equip student working at the annex, there where a whole slew of us...the point i'm making is that one person in particular taught me something that I think is invaluable...that person taught me what it is to be a humble servant...what it means to serve and to expect no recognition or praise for the job...that person taught me what a true servant looks like...thank you...and finally the Equip classes have grow me as a leader...the skills that I have learned during this class will, no doubt, be invaluabe as I progress and begin to lead people...the book T.O. gave us, "max X" has really stretched me in how I influence those around me...

But I'd have to say that what taught me the most wasn't Camp, Equip, Serve Team, or working at the Annex, but the time I spent with God while not being on the internet...by not focusing on myspace and all the other junk that has infected the web, I have been able to refocus my attention on the only thing that really matters: Jesus Christ, my Lord and Savior...I think one scripture that has really stuck out to me in all this time would have to be Colossians 3:17 "and whatever you do, whether in word or deed, do it all in the name of the Lord Jesus, giving thanks to God the Father through Him." man talk about a stab in the chest...in all the things I do or say...it really makes you step back and evaluate how you act, what you say, and what you think...its funny how that one, small, simple word can be so weighty: all...Everything...wow...I can honestly say that I have been trying to live out this scripture...and i can honestly say that I fail more than I succeed, but by God's grace and strength i get back up and keep pressing forward...

I encourage everyone to stay dedicated to the call of Christ...stay dedicated to seeking and pursuing Him above all else...it's hard, I know...I've failed way more times than I've succeeded, but its funny, Christ always finds a way of getting my attention again...He's very persistant...but don't make Him chase you...we should be the ones running after Him...He's given us so much and all He asks in return is Total Surrender...I'm ready...are you?...I want His will for my life above anything else...I want the thing called Self in me to be crucified with Christ to where it's no longer me people see, but Christ...I want to be so full of His Spirit that I'll be walking down the road and I'll hear the voice of God tell me to tell the lady on the street next to me somehting that will bring her closer to God...I want people to long to know Christ the way I know Christ just by being by me, not for me but for Him...I long for the day when He welcomes me home with those sweet words, "well done, good and faithful servant"

It may be a while...kinda like a month...

2006-06-26T11:32:00.000-07:00

Hey I just wanted to update ya'll on what's been going on in my life...God has recentley just really been revealing things to me and making me think alot...like serving others as if you serve the lord (Eph. 6:7) and Doing everything without arguing or complaining (Philippians 2:14) among other things.... He's really been challenging me to just let go...to really surrender all...

Well the other day Tweeze gave me a book called The Persuit of God by A.W. Tozer...well I've been reading it and its spoken volumes to me... at one point Tozer says that, "The evil habit of seeking God and effectivley prevents us from finding God in full revelation. In the and lies our great woe." Well one of my ands is the internet...if you know me, you know that i spend a great deal of time on it...not a good thing...besides the fact that it distracts me from God and waste time I could spend with Him, it also causes me to stumble and sin at times...hey I'm just being real with you...

Well I don't want to live my life like that...I want to live a life totally surrendered to Him...a life full of passionate persuit of my Lord...I want my comfort, my hope, my joy, my peace, my everything to come from God, not the temporary trappings of this world... I want to live a life set apart...one totally dedicated to my Father...

So I've decided the best practical way for me to start this persuit is to give up the internet...for a while...about a month...and the time I would normally spend doing useless things, would be spent instead in the presence of my King...

Know that I do not do this to be legalistic...but that I do it with a genuine hope that this act pleases my Father...

So in conclusion...don't expect replys or comments for the next month...if you need to get in touch with me please feel free to call my cell phone...God Bless...

in christ
jordan

Today was great

2006-06-23T21:01:00.000-07:00

Well I was reminded by Tori the other day that in order to have an affective blob, you have to update it...so sorry that its taken so long; heres my update... Today was incredible, I mean it just started out good from the beginning...today at morning prayer I stayed awake the whole time, which for me is an accomplishment and to top it off Brandon...aka 4.5...lead accoustic worship...it was amazing...You could really feel His presence....Idk but I just really love to worship...like sometimes during morning prayer I just want to stand up and worship to the background songs, but I don't want to disturb or distract anyone else...Following prayer I went eat with Tweeze where we talked about a bunch of random stuff...one thing that stuck out to me though was when he asked me "so what has God been showing you in your life right now?"...I've never been asked that before...I thought a moment then replied, "well I guess I feel He's telling me that in order to really serve at the church, I have to know how to serve at my house..." which if you know me is hard...I hate doing chores...and theres just something about it being your parents that are making you do them that makes it even less appealing...but alas... who can argue with God...so guess what I did today when I got home...that's right...I mowed the lawn and weeded the pond....wahhoooo...Well after my meeting with Tweeze, we went back to the annex where me, tori, Jaydee, Laken, and a few others finished putting the camp t-shirts in little aggrivating bags...but it was cool...i got to hang out with a cool group of people and help others...sorry if this post is long but I'm still not done...after that we had our Equip class, which was tought by Tyler...the class was great, it was on servant leadership and following the example of Christ...it was really good and challenged me to take action instead of just thinking...alas procrastination and inaction are two traits that plague me...so yeah that was my day...I know it was kinda boring and all but hey...I had fun...

Wahoo!!!

2006-06-17T21:31:00.000-07:00

Today was a really good day for me...better than last night...which I'm not going to talk about...don't you hate when people do that...kinda hint but never tell...haha...anyway today I called Pastor Tweeze and asked him if there was anyway at all I could serve him and refuge...turns out theres plenty for me to do...I get to meet with him next tuesday...at the Equipt meeting...which is another cool part of my day...I'm joining Equipt...yay...but that's not all...oh no...I had to top it off by also trying to get involved with the Refuge Serve Team...If you haven't caught on yet...I'm pretty much on fire and ready to serve...idk its kinda been on my heart lately but i've never committed to it...well after Tweezes message last week, I felt prompted to get moving...I'm really excited to see what God is going to do with all of this...I hope he stretches me with the outreaches and stuff...man i want to be changed so bad...I know i'm being repetitive here so bear with me, but man I wanna be like Christ...in everything i do: the things i do, the things i say, the things i think...everything...no holding back...no strings attached...

On a sadder note...I did have to quit my job at Hilltop so I'd be able to make all the outreaches and stuff...but I know God has so much more in stored for me than bringing out food and taking orders and stuff....

In conclusion...I'm extremely excited about what God's going to do....

In His Presence

2006-06-14T20:33:00.000-07:00

Today was an extremely cool day...though I woke up worrying about whether I was going to be late for practice...I wasn't if your wondering...practice went great so yeah...but what was really amazing about today had nothing to do with basketball...but all to do with God...

Last week Dustin Anderson invited me to help them set up for service...ie set up chairs, tables, and whatever else needs to be done before service...well after we finished setting up Mike Havelin started playing worship songs and stuff...it was totally amazing...the presence of God was so evident in the quiet sanctuary...I mean it was only five of us...and God...it was way cool...well after Mike finished, we put on some music by Jason Upton, that man is a beast when it comes to ushering in the spirit...it was amazing...

All in all, the experience was very gratifying...no one was super-spiritual or anything, it was just five guys seeking the face of God, and can I tell you...we found Him...I don't think i've ever felt His presence more strongly than I did in those thirty minutes...except summercamps...of course...

Well yeah thats whats been going on with me today...God's really been showing me to seek Him first above all things...to put Him first in my life instead of trying to fit Him into my life...the experience is very humbleing and fulfilling at the same time...so yeah try it some time... you won't regret it...

in christ
jordan

Tori made me do it...

2006-06-13T09:11:00.000-07:00

Ok so this is my first post...so i'll guess i'll start off by telling you why i got a blogspot...yes if you've already guessed it, it's because Tori made me do it...that's right i was forced into it, coerced if you will...but i guess i should explain the story behind it, so you don't think Tori is a terrible, overbearing person...I could tell you the whole long, overdrawn tale of it all, but i'm going to keep it simple for all of you out there...Tori would't put me on her top eight unless i got a blogspot... so with much pouting and consideration...BAM...I got a blogspot...so I hope your happy Miss Tori Ohlerking... :)