journal stuff

So I know it’s been a while, but oh well. Life’s been really busy and really great. God has been showing me so much about Himself lately. He’s really been teaching me to love other’s with an unconditional love. To feel what they feel. I was thinking the other night about how Paul says he “mourns with those who mourns, weeps with those who weeps” and so on (paraphrase). I sat thinking about that and for me, I’m more one of those guys that is sad for those who mourn and weep. You know, I don’t ever feel it with them. I want to. I want to be broken by someone else’s brokenness. I don’t want everything to be head knowledge to me. I overanalyze everything and think through the reasons of everything. Why can’t I just have a childlike faith and take God at His Word? Why can’t I just believe? Break me Lord. Break through my reasoning and thought. Shake me to the very core of my being.

Today, about ten minutes ago, I was upstairs having quiet time, and I started thinking about God’s unconditional love and His grace and mercy and how I don’t deserve any of it, yet He gave it all freely. Then I started thinking about my school and how there are so many lost and hurting people in my school that I overlook. People that I never reach out to; never show Jesus to. Well, God began to really challenge me. This is what I wrote in my journal:

Lord, I want to have a childlike faith in You. To really take Him at His word and believe. Lord I am desperate for more of you.
There should be no boundries that hold us back from reaching out to the lost sheep. So what if he’s gay; He’s on of God’s lost sheep. So what if she’s black, or Hispanic, or poor, or rich, or homeless, or Asian, or despised; he’s/she’s one of God’s lost sheep. What gives us the right to decide who is worthy to hear God’s message. God had someone tell you and me, and He knows I’m not worthy. What right do we have? NONE!!!
It’s our job and responsibility to reach out by any means necessary. We are here for “them”. We can’t settle for the mundane or the norm. We have to be innovative in our methods, forward in our approach, strong in our faith, low on our knees, confident in prayer, and authentic in our message. We are called to display who He is to a generation that lacks eyes to see and ears to hear. We are the frontline. We go in first and come out last. NO lost shall be left unfound. NO hurting shall be left untouched. NO rejected shall be left unaccepted. NO one shall be left unloved. It is time for us to take up the call. It is time for us to get on our knees, humble ourselves before Him, and deny our own flesh and desires. No more backsliding or looking back. No more compromise or complacency. It’s time to be world changers. It’s time to be revolutionist. It’s time be obedient.

So yep, that’s what I feel God is calling me/us to. “thick”