yeah it's been a while and this one's long
Ok i know it's been awhile since my last "real" post and for that i apologize. I've just been real busy. What with basketball and school. I can say that i've been having a lot of fun hanging out with Tori and the Ohlerkings and not so much fun with school...but hey i have to go...
Ok I’m almost positive now about some things pertaining to my future. I’m doing Elevate this summer…it’s almost final. I can’t wait to be in an atmosphere that will stretch me and at the same time draw me closer to God. The only thing about elevate that I’m not looking forward to is working out. I absolutely hate lifting weights. You get me running and I’m ok but I really dislike weights. Anyway I’m really excited about that.
Twisted is tomorrow, which is going ot be aweseom… I’ve got me the phantom mask and a nice vest…so yeah that’ll be fun…
And iknow this is going to make this post really long, but I want to go ahead and put some personal narratives I had to write for school on here….tell me what you think:
My Holy Spirit Experience
The summer of my ninth grade year was when things really began to change in my life. The camp was called “Oasis”, located in Panama City, Florida, and the speaker was none other than Pastor Dino, the lead pastor of my church. Prior to this summer camp I remember praying that if God was real, He needed to show himself to me in an almost tangible way. I wasn’t settling for anything less than speaking in the Holy Spirit. I mean I had heard about it and had even witnessed it, but I didn’t really believe it. It was something I needed to experience for myself.
So there I was at summer camp having an unexpectedly good time because, well, it was actually fun. The first two days were filled with sandy beaches, swimming pools, and intense services. Though the other services were awesome, nothing “profound” happened until the last night of camp. I remember walking into the sanctuary that last night with a sense of expectancy. The lights were dimmed low, accompanied by a slight fog produced by the hazer. The band had already begun playing soft background music. They continued to play as the crowd of students came in close. The atmosphere in the sanctuary was that of extreme excitement. The first song they played was “All Day” by Hillsong. I remember it wasn’t long before I was jumping up and down with my hands raised high in reverence to my God. The energy and presence of God was electrifying.
As the last song finished, Pastor Dino made his way up the side stairs onto the stage. “Please go ahead and get back to your seats,” He said with a thoughtful, almost distant look. As I made my way to my seat through the crowd of people, Pastor Dino placed his Bible and small spiral bound notebook on the podium. Then, kneeling with compassion on his face, he said “with the power of the Holy Spirit in you, you know longer have to be subject to the reign of sin; you can be an overcomer.” He explained that by having the Holy Spirit live inside of me, I would be able to live the life God intended for me. He also said that there was a way to be sure that the Holy Spirit was inside of me. He looked into the crowd as he said that, “speaking in tongues is evidence of the Holy Spirit living inside of you.” I didn’t know much, but I knew that this was what I had been praying for. As he continued to speak, sitting in my chair with my head bowed and hands together in prayer, my lips began to quiver and my hands began to shake. In my disbelief, I clasped my hands together and closed my lips in an attempt to stop the shaking, but to no avail. God was showing Himself to me whether I liked it or not.
As pastor Dino made his alter call, I found myself standing. I remember wanting what He had for me so bad. I walked out of my seat and down the isle in a semi daze; a mixture of fear and excitement coursed through me. Not caring what anyone thought, I brushed through the crowd of people, and made my way to the very front of the alter. I wanted to be as close as I could. Standing there in a daze, I threw my hands up to heaven in a sign of surrender. God I want all that you have for me¸ I prayed. Lord reveal yourself to me. Shaking uncontrollably now, I gagged from the power of the Holy Spirit made manifest in me. I can’t do this, I thought. I can’t surrender to this. Oh but how I wanted to. I remember, in that moment, feeling a strange peace wash over me. It was a peace that only God could supply. In a matter of seconds, I found myself thinking, Lord I surrender everything to You; let Your will be done. Still shaking, syllables that I have never heard before started spewing forth from my lips. As His spirit washed over me, I remember praying, God thank you, over and over again. Lord you are so good I prayed as tears flowed down my already moist cheeks. I couldn’t stop praising Him; I couldn’t stop worshiping.
I will never forget that night; it changed my life forever. That night I died to mySelf and surrendered all that I am to God. He became the longing of my heart; the desire of my soul. He showed Himself to be all that I had been searching for and so much more.
Now some two and a half years later, God is still continuing to change me. I have along way to go. I am by no means perfect or anywhere near what God has called me to be. I mess up more times than I succeed, but I continue to strive to be more like Him everyday. I want Him to have complete control of my life. I want my life to be a testimony of His love, and mercy, and grace.
I can honestly say that my decision to accept Christ and live a life totally abandoned to Him has been the single, most life-altering decision I have or will ever make.
My Hope is in the Lord
It was the summer of my senior year when I really started volunteering at my church. My days were filled with running errands, folding bulletins, and going on outreaches. I even took a leadership class called Equip and to top it all off, I went on an extremely powerful summer camp. Through all these experiences, serving became more than an obligation I felt as a Christian; it became a lifestyle that I began to embrace. I would wake up at five o’clock each morning looking forward to spending time alone with my Lord during early morning prayer at the church. I couldn’t wait to go on outreaches. At busy intersections, we would pass out water bottles to people stopped at red lights, or give people gum on their lunch break in downtown Baton Rouge. I loved helping at the church. But with the growing sense of peace I felt working at the church, came an uneasy question about my future. Do I go to college or go straight into ministry?
The air was already hot and humid as I climbed out of my red Saturn Coupe this hot summer morning. I closed my car door and walked to the front of Frank’s Restaurant where I was supposed to meet Pastor Jason. As I got to the front door I saw him getting out of his little, red Eclipse. I waited for him to cross the crowded parking lot and make his way to the front door before offering him my hand. “Good morning Tweeze,” I said grasping his hand in a firm handshake.
“Whaattss upp doggy,” he said letting go of my hand and opening the hardwood door to the restaurant. “I hope you’re hungry,” he called over his shoulder. I could tell he had been here before by the way he walked straight pass the “Please be seated” sign to a table in the back corner of the crowded room. We sat across from each other and waited in silence until our waitress came to take our drink orders. “Water,” we both said as she asked us for our drinks.
I had asked Pastor Jason the night before at Refuge if he would be my mentor and if I could meet with him soon. I told him I had some weighty questions on my mind and wondered if he could give me his opinion. We agreed to meet at Frank’s the next morning to discuss my questions.
“Here are your drinks,” the waitress said with a smile, breaking through my thoughts. “Thank you,” we replied together as she set our drinks on the table and made her way through the crowd back to the kitchen.
I was reading the menu to see what I wanted to eat when Jason asked with an intent look on his face, “So what is it you wanted to talk to me about,” I could tell he knew this was important to me and was giving me his full attention. I appreciated his apparent sincerity.
“Well, as you know I have been working at the church a lot this summer,” I said fidgeting with my napkin. “And, it’s just…I think this is the life God is calling me to; working in a church and all. I mean I love it, but I don’t know where college falls into all of this. This is something I’ve really been worrying about lately,” I said looking away. “I mean, like losing sleep kinda worrying.”
Jason leaned back in his chair with a thoughtful look. I remember thinking that he was going to give me a yes or no opinion. I was wrong. Leaning his elbows on the table, he looked me in the eye and said, “Jordan…”
“So what can I for you this beautiful morning,” our waitress asked with a cheerful smile, interrupting Jason’s words.
“French toast,” Jason said politely.
“Chocolate chip pancakes with whip cream,” I said handing her our menus.
After the waitress left, I focused my attention back on Jason, waiting for the rest of his words; waiting for his words of wisdom.
“Jordan,” Jason began again, “you have to trust God. I have seen Him do many great things in your life this summer, and He has put many questions on your heart. He’s put questions that, ultimately, only He can answer. If you seek him with all of your heart and lean not on your own understanding, He will direct your steps[i],” he said with a confident smile. He then quoted a scripture that I had already known, but hadn’t thought about till then. He said, “‘For I know the plans I have for you,’ says the Lord, ‘plans to give you a future and a hope. Then you will call upon me and come and pray to me, and I will listen to you. You will seek me and find me when you seek with all of your heart.’[ii] Jordan, just like it says, ‘you will find Him when you search with all of your heart’. Trust Him,” Jason said as the waitress brought us our food.
“Cool,” I said with a smile, “that’s just what I needed to hear. “Thank you,” I said cutting into my first pancake.
The words that Jason told me that day weren’t the straight forward answer I had hoped for, but they were exactly the ones I needed to hear. I learned that day that my hope was in the will of the Lord. I learned that if I seek Him and trust Him with all of my heart, He would work out the rest. He hasn’t disappointed me yet. In fact, at the end of this summer, I’m starting a nine month internship at my church called Elevate. I don’t know what comes after that; I guess I’ll just have to put my hope in the Lord.
[i] Proverbs 3:5-6
[ii] Jeremiah 29:11-13
So yeah, sorry about it being so long… I promise to keep up with it better in the future…
Ok I’m almost positive now about some things pertaining to my future. I’m doing Elevate this summer…it’s almost final. I can’t wait to be in an atmosphere that will stretch me and at the same time draw me closer to God. The only thing about elevate that I’m not looking forward to is working out. I absolutely hate lifting weights. You get me running and I’m ok but I really dislike weights. Anyway I’m really excited about that.
Twisted is tomorrow, which is going ot be aweseom… I’ve got me the phantom mask and a nice vest…so yeah that’ll be fun…
And iknow this is going to make this post really long, but I want to go ahead and put some personal narratives I had to write for school on here….tell me what you think:
My Holy Spirit Experience
The summer of my ninth grade year was when things really began to change in my life. The camp was called “Oasis”, located in Panama City, Florida, and the speaker was none other than Pastor Dino, the lead pastor of my church. Prior to this summer camp I remember praying that if God was real, He needed to show himself to me in an almost tangible way. I wasn’t settling for anything less than speaking in the Holy Spirit. I mean I had heard about it and had even witnessed it, but I didn’t really believe it. It was something I needed to experience for myself.
So there I was at summer camp having an unexpectedly good time because, well, it was actually fun. The first two days were filled with sandy beaches, swimming pools, and intense services. Though the other services were awesome, nothing “profound” happened until the last night of camp. I remember walking into the sanctuary that last night with a sense of expectancy. The lights were dimmed low, accompanied by a slight fog produced by the hazer. The band had already begun playing soft background music. They continued to play as the crowd of students came in close. The atmosphere in the sanctuary was that of extreme excitement. The first song they played was “All Day” by Hillsong. I remember it wasn’t long before I was jumping up and down with my hands raised high in reverence to my God. The energy and presence of God was electrifying.
As the last song finished, Pastor Dino made his way up the side stairs onto the stage. “Please go ahead and get back to your seats,” He said with a thoughtful, almost distant look. As I made my way to my seat through the crowd of people, Pastor Dino placed his Bible and small spiral bound notebook on the podium. Then, kneeling with compassion on his face, he said “with the power of the Holy Spirit in you, you know longer have to be subject to the reign of sin; you can be an overcomer.” He explained that by having the Holy Spirit live inside of me, I would be able to live the life God intended for me. He also said that there was a way to be sure that the Holy Spirit was inside of me. He looked into the crowd as he said that, “speaking in tongues is evidence of the Holy Spirit living inside of you.” I didn’t know much, but I knew that this was what I had been praying for. As he continued to speak, sitting in my chair with my head bowed and hands together in prayer, my lips began to quiver and my hands began to shake. In my disbelief, I clasped my hands together and closed my lips in an attempt to stop the shaking, but to no avail. God was showing Himself to me whether I liked it or not.
As pastor Dino made his alter call, I found myself standing. I remember wanting what He had for me so bad. I walked out of my seat and down the isle in a semi daze; a mixture of fear and excitement coursed through me. Not caring what anyone thought, I brushed through the crowd of people, and made my way to the very front of the alter. I wanted to be as close as I could. Standing there in a daze, I threw my hands up to heaven in a sign of surrender. God I want all that you have for me¸ I prayed. Lord reveal yourself to me. Shaking uncontrollably now, I gagged from the power of the Holy Spirit made manifest in me. I can’t do this, I thought. I can’t surrender to this. Oh but how I wanted to. I remember, in that moment, feeling a strange peace wash over me. It was a peace that only God could supply. In a matter of seconds, I found myself thinking, Lord I surrender everything to You; let Your will be done. Still shaking, syllables that I have never heard before started spewing forth from my lips. As His spirit washed over me, I remember praying, God thank you, over and over again. Lord you are so good I prayed as tears flowed down my already moist cheeks. I couldn’t stop praising Him; I couldn’t stop worshiping.
I will never forget that night; it changed my life forever. That night I died to mySelf and surrendered all that I am to God. He became the longing of my heart; the desire of my soul. He showed Himself to be all that I had been searching for and so much more.
Now some two and a half years later, God is still continuing to change me. I have along way to go. I am by no means perfect or anywhere near what God has called me to be. I mess up more times than I succeed, but I continue to strive to be more like Him everyday. I want Him to have complete control of my life. I want my life to be a testimony of His love, and mercy, and grace.
I can honestly say that my decision to accept Christ and live a life totally abandoned to Him has been the single, most life-altering decision I have or will ever make.
My Hope is in the Lord
It was the summer of my senior year when I really started volunteering at my church. My days were filled with running errands, folding bulletins, and going on outreaches. I even took a leadership class called Equip and to top it all off, I went on an extremely powerful summer camp. Through all these experiences, serving became more than an obligation I felt as a Christian; it became a lifestyle that I began to embrace. I would wake up at five o’clock each morning looking forward to spending time alone with my Lord during early morning prayer at the church. I couldn’t wait to go on outreaches. At busy intersections, we would pass out water bottles to people stopped at red lights, or give people gum on their lunch break in downtown Baton Rouge. I loved helping at the church. But with the growing sense of peace I felt working at the church, came an uneasy question about my future. Do I go to college or go straight into ministry?
The air was already hot and humid as I climbed out of my red Saturn Coupe this hot summer morning. I closed my car door and walked to the front of Frank’s Restaurant where I was supposed to meet Pastor Jason. As I got to the front door I saw him getting out of his little, red Eclipse. I waited for him to cross the crowded parking lot and make his way to the front door before offering him my hand. “Good morning Tweeze,” I said grasping his hand in a firm handshake.
“Whaattss upp doggy,” he said letting go of my hand and opening the hardwood door to the restaurant. “I hope you’re hungry,” he called over his shoulder. I could tell he had been here before by the way he walked straight pass the “Please be seated” sign to a table in the back corner of the crowded room. We sat across from each other and waited in silence until our waitress came to take our drink orders. “Water,” we both said as she asked us for our drinks.
I had asked Pastor Jason the night before at Refuge if he would be my mentor and if I could meet with him soon. I told him I had some weighty questions on my mind and wondered if he could give me his opinion. We agreed to meet at Frank’s the next morning to discuss my questions.
“Here are your drinks,” the waitress said with a smile, breaking through my thoughts. “Thank you,” we replied together as she set our drinks on the table and made her way through the crowd back to the kitchen.
I was reading the menu to see what I wanted to eat when Jason asked with an intent look on his face, “So what is it you wanted to talk to me about,” I could tell he knew this was important to me and was giving me his full attention. I appreciated his apparent sincerity.
“Well, as you know I have been working at the church a lot this summer,” I said fidgeting with my napkin. “And, it’s just…I think this is the life God is calling me to; working in a church and all. I mean I love it, but I don’t know where college falls into all of this. This is something I’ve really been worrying about lately,” I said looking away. “I mean, like losing sleep kinda worrying.”
Jason leaned back in his chair with a thoughtful look. I remember thinking that he was going to give me a yes or no opinion. I was wrong. Leaning his elbows on the table, he looked me in the eye and said, “Jordan…”
“So what can I for you this beautiful morning,” our waitress asked with a cheerful smile, interrupting Jason’s words.
“French toast,” Jason said politely.
“Chocolate chip pancakes with whip cream,” I said handing her our menus.
After the waitress left, I focused my attention back on Jason, waiting for the rest of his words; waiting for his words of wisdom.
“Jordan,” Jason began again, “you have to trust God. I have seen Him do many great things in your life this summer, and He has put many questions on your heart. He’s put questions that, ultimately, only He can answer. If you seek him with all of your heart and lean not on your own understanding, He will direct your steps[i],” he said with a confident smile. He then quoted a scripture that I had already known, but hadn’t thought about till then. He said, “‘For I know the plans I have for you,’ says the Lord, ‘plans to give you a future and a hope. Then you will call upon me and come and pray to me, and I will listen to you. You will seek me and find me when you seek with all of your heart.’[ii] Jordan, just like it says, ‘you will find Him when you search with all of your heart’. Trust Him,” Jason said as the waitress brought us our food.
“Cool,” I said with a smile, “that’s just what I needed to hear. “Thank you,” I said cutting into my first pancake.
The words that Jason told me that day weren’t the straight forward answer I had hoped for, but they were exactly the ones I needed to hear. I learned that day that my hope was in the will of the Lord. I learned that if I seek Him and trust Him with all of my heart, He would work out the rest. He hasn’t disappointed me yet. In fact, at the end of this summer, I’m starting a nine month internship at my church called Elevate. I don’t know what comes after that; I guess I’ll just have to put my hope in the Lord.
[i] Proverbs 3:5-6
[ii] Jeremiah 29:11-13
So yeah, sorry about it being so long… I promise to keep up with it better in the future…
posted by JordanGautreau at 8:05:00 PM
4 Comments:
That's awesome, my friend. You've changed a lot since Submerge where you lent me your shoes, and I very much admire and respect you. I don't just say it to get in good w/you, but 'cause I mean it. Thank you.
It takes a lot of guts to write about God for a school paper. I'm glad that you've got what it takes!
See you tonight,
-Jason
I think God has an exciting life in store for you!
Learn and experience all you can--who knows, you just might end up right here in Swaziland!
Wow.
its really interesting how god uses ppl to speak into others lives,that really spoke to me... just what i need to hear...that was an amazing post
telia-i cant wait to see what God has for you...
Post a Comment
<< Home