Distraction meets Trust or something that hopefully sounds smart but probably not...idk don't ask... :)

Well alot has been going on with me lately...i'm kind of tired so i'm going to just put everything outhere... :) I guess what God has really been showing me that i have to trust Him more...you know we always say Lord i give you my future, my desires, my everything, but do we really mean it...? When our future is at stake and our desires are running rampart, do we still trust God with them...Unfortuanetlly for me, sometimes the answer is no...i've been having a lot on my mind lately about alot of different things...and i've gotten really stressed out...I've been worrying and thinking and dwelling on eventualities and stuff...the "what if's" if you will...and it's really not good for my health; the worrying part i mean...theres actually a scripture, and i'm not sure on the exact reference that pretty much says, "don't worry" I"m like hello...come on jordan...so yeah, i've been talking to my parents about it and they believe i'm just overanalyzing things, which is a good possibility... if you don't know me, i am always overanalyzing...I actually think the devil is trying to distract me by using my worry... and what's so hard is that i'm worried about whether this situation is God's will and stuff like that...but i had a good quiet time tonight and God really gave me some peace...i still don't really know all of His will, but i guess i'll never know it...actually mr. dan told me the other day of an analogy he heard concerning God's will...basically it's goes like this, and i hope i don't screw this up to bad, but your in a car...and you can only see as far as the headlights allow...you know there's more road ahead, but you know that you can only worry about that when the headlights show it to you...so basically don't worry about the far far future...we have to trust God to show us what we need to know and believe that He'll guide us through the rest when it comes...

Kinda going along the trust line; i was reading my bible tonight and i remembered the scripture Proverbs 3:5-6 "Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not to you own understanding. in all your ways acknoweledge Him and He shall direct your paths." I've read this scripture before, and even have it committed to memory, but something stuck out to me tonight that i haven't thought about before...it says to trust in the lord with all of your heart, and well we say we do that, but as i was thinking about it and thinking of what's going on in my own heart, we really, or at least me, mostly trust Him when things are going good. We can say in the good times that we trust Him with everything but in the bad we question...why is that? Or when we're scared to voice to God our emotions or feelings because we don't know if they're His will...you know what..God already knows what we're thinking, feeling, and everything! its no secret to Him! It all goes back to trust; when we don't intentionally tell God our thoughts and stuff in essence we're saying we don't trust You God, you couldn't possibly understand...and like i said this is a completley knew thought to me also, so i'm going through it too...

But like i said I had a great quiet time and God is teaching me to simply wait on Him..not get caught up in my own little world of questions and insecurities, but to trust Him alone and to know that he has my best in mind...

With all that's been going on in my head, God has made me very aware of how thankfull i am for my parents and other Godly mentors and friends that help me through these times...thank you God for everything...You are so awesome...!!!! and thanks again friends...:) yeah i know it was kinda corny, but oh well i really am thankfull for ya'll...you all challenge me in more ways than you know....

and that's about it...i'm going to bed now, and i can't wait for tommorrow...yay it's refuge...oh an dthursdday we have our jamborree, or hwoever you spell it...we're playig Holden...our rivals...so yeah it'll be a pretty intense game...but we're ready...so yeah... :)

later
in christ
jordan