Well, where do I begin...I guess I'll just dive right into it...first and foremost, God is amazing...there's no if, ands, or buts about it...he just is...

It's hard to describe what's been going on this past week with me...but for the sake of a testimony, i'll try...I'll start out by saying that i've been reading this book Authentic Beauty by Leslie Ludy...yes it's a chick book, and yes there is a reason I would be reading, just be patient...ok so I bought this book originaly to better understand girls and what they go through... i figured if i knew, I would be better able to encourage them and direct them to Christ, which ultimately is what i want to happen with everyone i come into contact with...anyway what I thought would be a look into the female physce actually became a challenging experience...let me explain... though this book is geared towards women, it spoke to me as well...it talked about you being the sanctuary of God and how you must continually clean it, continually gaurd it, and continually use it...I look at my life, and I see all kind of junk that lay scattered everywhere in my sanctuary, and i don't want that...i want my sanctuary to be pure and blameless without blemish...I want my God to feel welcomed and wanted...I want my God to feel adored when he thinks of me... the book also talks about living a life of intimacy and living a life of worship... as i read her story, I find myself longing for what she has...I know i've said it before, but I just long to know my king more and more everyday...I long to grow in my love and adoration for Him everyday...I long to live a life of abandonment for Him that died for me...I mean this book has challenged me in so many ways...

I was talking to Tori the other day, and I shared how God has been showing me that the Cross is more than an icon...its more than something we passingly thank God for...think about this, I mean really think about it...The son of God came down to this earth, became flesh, lived and impacted people around him, and then willingly laid down His holy, precious life for you and me...now you have to envision it...don't just think of the cross, but the broken body that also was crucified upon it...now tell me you don't want to life a life of abandonment for Him that died for you...tell me that...He wasn't just some nice guy that died for a cause, He was the son of God...he could have easily chose another way...instead He followed His Father's will and died for you and me...thus bridging the gap...tell me you can't live a life of abandonment for Him...

I think of the cross and it just inspires me to think differentlly, it inspires me to speak differentally, it inspires me to live differentally...I don't want to live like all of the other passive Christians...I want every waking moment of my life to scream to the world, that i love Jesus Christ with all my heart, soul, mind, and strength...I want everyone i come into contact with to think that that's what Jesus must have been like...I want everyone around me to feel the lack of what I have...I want to impact and influence the world around me...i want to do all of this not for me or for my glory, but for God's...I want His name to be lifted above everything else...I don't want anyone to remember who I am, but only God...I want to live a set-apart life...one like no other...

And I guess one of the other things that God has really been showing me is surrender...and I'm not talking about just saying it during worship, "God I surrender everything to you" but a life of complete surrender...a life that no one has to say is surrendered...a life that speaks for itself...God is showing me that everything in my life, must be submitted and surrendered to Him...He's showing me that if i am to live a life that is truly set-apart for Him, my whole excistance must be centered around Him...I find now more than ever the power of His conviction...I find that anything I would normally due without a second thought, God is convicted me to think of Him...everything I do must be centered around Him...every area of my life must be surrendered to Him...I want my life to be a "living sacrfice holy and acceptable" to my Lord and Savior...

I just bought a book called "Rachael Tears" a biography on the life of Rachael Scott, the student at Colombine Highschool, that was killed for her faith in Christ...I haven't read much of it yet, but i can already tell that it is going to be very good, and that it is going to challenge me to live a life of complete abandonment no matter what the consequences might be...I think i'm ready to live that way, I pray that i'm ready, I know that through God's strength I am...

I can't wait to see what God is going to do tommorrow with our healing hands club and what he's going to do through chad daniel tommorrow night at Refuge...I'm anticipating and expecting for God to move like He's never moved before...I know I won't be disappointed...

Well thank you all for sticking with me and continuing to read even when I get on my "soap box" stay strong in the Lord....

In Christ,
Jordan