long, long, but not too too bad

Ok sorry ya’ll, I know this one has been long in coming. I’m going to go ahead and just skip to the really cool part. I don’t remember stuff from last week hardly so yeah, I’ll start on Friday night. Friday after our basketball game in Holden, which we won, I drove home to shower. Then headed to the prayer room at the Annex where I was going to meet Dustan Anderson, T. Berry, and Paul Mousso.
Mickey had told me earlier in the day that when he went it was only him and it was real peaceful, so I had that in mind when I opened the door to the Annex. What I heard though was loud shouting and praying in tongues and stuff. I had no idea what was going on, so I waited outside and tried to distinguish who was in there. It turned out it was Tweez, Charles Young, JP, Aliece Cole, Haviland, and one girl from Elevate whose name I can’t remember. It was so awesome; I had a hard time concentrating at first because of how loud it was; all I could say was “amen” to what they where praying.
I eventually got into the flow and it was amazing. I just felt God breaking me down. It was real emotional. Then Mike busted out the guitar and Tweeze grabbed the Gimbae and we had some really good worship. Then Charles had the idea of going outside and praying and stuff. It was really cool.
Eventually Tweeze decided that we were going to go to Wal-Mart and buy some sleeping bags and hand them out to homeless people. It was really cool. We me this guy named Bradford Sullivan and he started preaching to us. Boy he could talk.
Saturday I went to the prayer room early in the morning and then later that night from 10:00-1:20. It was so awesome. I just feel that God is trying to teach me to care for those that He cares about and love those that he loves. Sometimes it so easy to get caught up with ourselves and our problem or even caught up in searching for God’s will for “Our” lives that we forget about those that God has called us to reach. So yeah it was really cool.
Then Sunday morning Pastor Dino’s message just affirmed it even more. And then of course Vision night was awesome; again about caring for the “them” and reaching the “them”.
After Vision Night charles and Kristen came to our house to eat and have coffee. It was really cool getting to talk to them and really listening to them. I got to ask them how they knew they where called and when the timing was right and stuff. It was really cool.
Then I drove me and Charles to the annex where we would leave to go hand out sleeping bags again. It was really like being “fisher’s of men” because we couldn’t find any guys so we kept driving around “fishing.”
Then this morning me, mickey and Shae all went to the prayer room at 9:15 to 11:30ish. It was really good. We went eat at dynasty then I went back to the prayer room for another hour before I had to leave for practice.
But this last prayer was so good because I was by myself. I didin’t have to worry if I was too loud or anything and esp. wasn’t thinking if they where listening to my prayers, which is a bad habit I sometimes have.
But yeah, this weekend was just really good for me. I had grown complacent at school as being know as the head “Christian” guy. I don’t ever want to be comfortable. I want God to shake me and disturb me into action again. I want to have compassion on those He loves. I want to be moved to action. I don’t ever want to just “exist” where I’m at. I’m learning to just wait on God. I’ve been in this hype over mission stuff and elevate and I just really feel that God isjus saying to chill and soak Him up. To just get to know Him better and to learn his Characteristics and attitudes. I wanna be like my Jesus. I want to partake of His suffering. I wanna be tested and persecuted. I think one of the hardest things I’m facing is “living” for Him. I’m ready to die for Him, but am I ready to live?

Sorry that it’s all jumbled up and weird. I had and still have a bunch of stuff on my mind, but there’s no way I can type all of it. So yeah, that’s it.

peace child and thoughts

I finished another book last night. “Peace Child” by Don Richardson. Basically it’s a narrative of when he and his wife Carol, along with their son Stephen, went to a small tribe in the Netherlands called the Sawi. The Sawi are cannibalistic headhunters that believe in the art of treachery. They have one saying that translates to mean, “to be fattened with friendship”. Despite the risk, Don and Carol immerse themselves with the Sawi. The whole first year is nothing but language study, as n one has ever translated their language. The determination and conviction of this couple is incredible. To be able to go as missionaries to a isolated place and not even be able to preach to them for a whole year shows the dedication they have to Christ and to the Sawi.

It’s truly an amazing story of God’s providence, grace, and mercy. When all hope seems lost of ever finding a way to relate the gospel message to this heathen child, God provides a way by what the Sawi call a “peace child”. A peace child is a child given from one tribe to the other as a peace offering, and as long as that child lives their will be peace. You can see where his analogy comes from.

Reading this book has only increased my desire to go over seas and impact the world. It has increased my desire to know and understand what God’s plan is for me. I can’t wait to just go. But I know I have to. God isn’t through shaping me yet. It would be foolish for me to rush what God is doing in my life right now to do what I want; I’d only mess things up. Something that I’ve been thinking about lately has been what Mr. Dan told me the other day, “you may or may not find yourself over seas. You have to accept what God is calling you to do in the moment and be obedient.” Then he asked me two other rhetorical questions. “Are you willing to die for Christ, but more importantly, are you willing to live for Christ. It’s almost easier to die for Him than live.” Thinking on those two questions, I’ve come to the conclusion that he’s right. I could die for Christ. I would be honored to be martyred for my faith. Living day in and day out for Him, on the other hand, is much harder.

And then the other day I was reading in proverbs, I think, either chapter 3 or 4, and it was talking a lot about paths. “Trust in the lord with all your heart and lean not to your own understanding, in all your ways acknowledge him and he shall direct your paths” and in proverbs4:25-27 it says “Let your eyes look straight ahead, fix your gaze directly before you. Make level paths for your feet and take only the ways that are firm. Do not swerve to the right or to the left; and keep your feet from evil.”

These to scriptures really speak to me. Of course I want my paths to be directed by the Lord, but there are things I must do. 1 trust in the lord with all my heart 2 lean not on my own understanding 3 acknowledge Him in all my ways. Basically it means to surrender everything. Harder said than done. But God is teaching me to.

One thing that stuck out to me on proverbs 4 is the word “firm”. When I hear firm I think of how God is our rock and how Jesus tells us to build our house on solid ground. To me it means our paths should be directed by the Lord. In psalms 37:23-24 it says “if the Lord delights in a mans ways, He makes his steps firm; though he stumbles he will not fall, for the Lord holds his hand.” It all ties together. It’s amazing when you think about it.

Then reading down I’m reminded that my “way’s are in full view of the Lord, and he examines all my paths.” (Psalms 5:21) It all goes back to trusting in the Lord to direct you because if He directs you, you’ll always be on the right path.

For me though I think what God is showing me the most is that I’m on a straight path right now. My path is that of growing and maturing and developing into what He is calling me to be. I can’t rush Him. Who knows, maybe around the next corner on the next straight away I’ll be on the field. But right now, I feel that God would have me focus on developing the gifts and talents he has given me. I feel that God wants me to really focus on Him; put all other things aside and focus on Him alone. It’s hard. With so many distractions and things competing for my attention, sometimes it becomes hard. But God is sufficient. He’s my source and sustenance. He’s my everything.