mission stuff

I guess I’ll start off by saying that I’ve had a wonderful Christmas. I’ve been spending a whole bunch of time with Tori and her family, and it’s just been really fun. I kinda feel sorry for Tori though, because she had to come to like 5 family Christmas parties. What a trooper. Anyway God’s blessed me with a bunch of nice stuff and whole new wardrobe in brown for those of you who get tired of seeing me in black. J I also got a really nice journal from Tori and little man bag. J Mr. Dan and Mrs. Vicki gave me some nice books and a really cool raised seal for all my books. It’s so cool.

Well I already read one of the books they gave me, and I may have posted something on it I’m not sure. Anyway, I read High Adventures in Tibet, it’s about the mission work of Victor Plymire in Tibet. It’s so encouraging. He spent 50 years as a missionary in Tibet. I could feel his passion for the Tibetans throughout the book. What got me the most is that I had been praying for a passion for the lost and to have an unconditional love for people. From reading this book, I’ve realized that unconditional love isn’t just an emotion or feeling towards a certain people, but instead it’s a choice to love them whether they return it or not. It’s a conscious decision to care for them and give yourself to them. Christ made a choice to be obedient to the Father. We too must also make a choice to love our neighbor.

From this book, my passion to go/possibly live on the mission field has only increased. I can’t wait to get out on the field. I can’t wait to be stretched and strained. I can’t wait to be broken and laid bare before my Lord. I’ve always felt a tug to the field, just not this strong. The one problem I face now is where. Where does God want me? Where am I called? Right now, I don’t care. I just want to go. I want to be changed and used.

So yeah, that’s about it. Just wanted to give you an update of what’s going on in my life. Merry Christmas and Happy New Year to ya’ll. J

Revealed with Christ

Ok so I was sitting by the computer this morning having my quiet time when I really felt God speak to me through His word. I opened the Bible up to Colossians 3 and few things really stuck out to me.

Colossians 3:2-4 Set your mind on the things above, not on the things that are on earth.3 For you have died and your life is hidden with Christ in God.4 When Christ, who is our life, is revealed then you also will be revealed with Him in glory.

This passage really spoke to me: 1. To set my mind on heavenly things not the earthly such as what car I’m going to get next or what I’m getting for Christmas or whatever. It’s not about any of those things. Everything is about the eternal. Because at the end of it all, that’s all you’re left with. 2. That my life, my existence is hidden with Christ. This speaks volumes to me. My life is not my own. I shouldn’t parade what I’ve done or said or anything around to others; It’s not about that, my life is hidden with Christ. I know I say it a bunch, but this scripture just makes me think of it again. I don’t want to be seen. I don’t want to be noticed. I want to cease to exist if it means that Christ will be glorified. I want to be hidden in Him so that the focus is off of me and directed to Him. 3. When Christ is revealed so will I. Not until then. I can’t try to force people to notice me. And I definitely shouldn’t try to gain recognition through servant hood. Woe unto me if I ever seek glory for myself even in the least.

Then it goes on to say in verse 17 : “Whatever you do in word or deed, do all in the name of the Lord Jesus, giving thanks through Him to God the Father.”
It didn’t say “whatever you do in word or in deed, do it all for yourself, to earn yourself recognition” It makes me think of all the things I say and do throughout the course of just one day. What do I dedicate unto God and what do I dedicate unto mySelf? Lord I don’t want the glory or honor. Lord crucify my desires. Lord consume me to where it’s no longer me people see, but only You. Father break me. Lord break my pride and arrogance. Lord humble me. Father let it never be about me. Father teach me to hide in who You are. God let everything I do be to bring You glory and honor and praise.

My first semester as a senior officially ends tomorrow. I’m done with all my mid-terms and stuff, but I still have to go half a day so I can play basketball tomorrow night. I’m so thankful for the upcoming Christmas holidays. I need some down time. What’s funny though is that I don’t think I’m going to catch up on my rest like I want/need to. I think it’s going to be like my weekends. I’m supposed to catch up on sleep, but that never seems to happen for some reason I can’t quite think of. J The holidays are going to be crazy. With my parents being divorced and my mom’s parents being divorced I have to go to a lot of parties: some fun some not so fun.
Anyway, to what God is doing in my life right now. God is showing me that I have to trust and depend on Him in all things. It’s so easy for me to depend on Him when things are going good and all, but when it gets down to the nit and gritty things change. When you’re stuck in your sin, your pride kicks into high gear saying that you can do it on your own. You don’t need God to get you out. WRONG… God is showing me that, especially, in my failures I need to rely on Him. When I’m broken and down, that’s when God can really get a hold of my life. Only when I am broken can God build me up into His image. So I say Break me oh God, Tear down my pride, humble me. I want to be broken bread in His hands. Willing to be molded and used.
God is shwing me that I have to submit every area of my life. No holding back. If I want to truly life the life God intends for me, I cant be me. I want God to crucify me. I want to be totally lost in who He is. So absorbed in the things of Heaven, that I can’t think of anything else. I want to die to mySelf. God take control of my life. Sit on the throne of my heart. Reign.
He is also showing me that I can’t be stingy with my finances. I am a frugal person. I don’t like to spend my money, I’d much rather save it. Well at service Saturday Pastor Dino said something that really hit me. I don’t rememeber what it was; just that I can’t be stingy with my finances. On the way home from service me and Tori were talking about how we have to always have “open hands” never holding on to the things God gives us, but always looking for ways to bless others.
So yeah, that’s what God has been doing in my life at the moment. Ok, random question that I’ve been pondering. Ok have any of ya’ll ever had something you wanted to write in your journal, whether it be about your future or whatever, but you were scared to because you didn’t want it to turn out wrong? I do it all the time with numerous things. What’s your take?

yeah it's been a while and this one's long

Ok i know it's been awhile since my last "real" post and for that i apologize. I've just been real busy. What with basketball and school. I can say that i've been having a lot of fun hanging out with Tori and the Ohlerkings and not so much fun with school...but hey i have to go...

Ok I’m almost positive now about some things pertaining to my future. I’m doing Elevate this summer…it’s almost final. I can’t wait to be in an atmosphere that will stretch me and at the same time draw me closer to God. The only thing about elevate that I’m not looking forward to is working out. I absolutely hate lifting weights. You get me running and I’m ok but I really dislike weights. Anyway I’m really excited about that.

Twisted is tomorrow, which is going ot be aweseom… I’ve got me the phantom mask and a nice vest…so yeah that’ll be fun…

And iknow this is going to make this post really long, but I want to go ahead and put some personal narratives I had to write for school on here….tell me what you think:

My Holy Spirit Experience

The summer of my ninth grade year was when things really began to change in my life. The camp was called “Oasis”, located in Panama City, Florida, and the speaker was none other than Pastor Dino, the lead pastor of my church. Prior to this summer camp I remember praying that if God was real, He needed to show himself to me in an almost tangible way. I wasn’t settling for anything less than speaking in the Holy Spirit. I mean I had heard about it and had even witnessed it, but I didn’t really believe it. It was something I needed to experience for myself.

So there I was at summer camp having an unexpectedly good time because, well, it was actually fun. The first two days were filled with sandy beaches, swimming pools, and intense services. Though the other services were awesome, nothing “profound” happened until the last night of camp. I remember walking into the sanctuary that last night with a sense of expectancy. The lights were dimmed low, accompanied by a slight fog produced by the hazer. The band had already begun playing soft background music. They continued to play as the crowd of students came in close. The atmosphere in the sanctuary was that of extreme excitement. The first song they played was “All Day” by Hillsong. I remember it wasn’t long before I was jumping up and down with my hands raised high in reverence to my God. The energy and presence of God was electrifying.

As the last song finished, Pastor Dino made his way up the side stairs onto the stage. “Please go ahead and get back to your seats,” He said with a thoughtful, almost distant look. As I made my way to my seat through the crowd of people, Pastor Dino placed his Bible and small spiral bound notebook on the podium. Then, kneeling with compassion on his face, he said “with the power of the Holy Spirit in you, you know longer have to be subject to the reign of sin; you can be an overcomer.” He explained that by having the Holy Spirit live inside of me, I would be able to live the life God intended for me. He also said that there was a way to be sure that the Holy Spirit was inside of me. He looked into the crowd as he said that, “speaking in tongues is evidence of the Holy Spirit living inside of you.” I didn’t know much, but I knew that this was what I had been praying for. As he continued to speak, sitting in my chair with my head bowed and hands together in prayer, my lips began to quiver and my hands began to shake. In my disbelief, I clasped my hands together and closed my lips in an attempt to stop the shaking, but to no avail. God was showing Himself to me whether I liked it or not.

As pastor Dino made his alter call, I found myself standing. I remember wanting what He had for me so bad. I walked out of my seat and down the isle in a semi daze; a mixture of fear and excitement coursed through me. Not caring what anyone thought, I brushed through the crowd of people, and made my way to the very front of the alter. I wanted to be as close as I could. Standing there in a daze, I threw my hands up to heaven in a sign of surrender. God I want all that you have for me¸ I prayed. Lord reveal yourself to me. Shaking uncontrollably now, I gagged from the power of the Holy Spirit made manifest in me. I can’t do this, I thought. I can’t surrender to this. Oh but how I wanted to. I remember, in that moment, feeling a strange peace wash over me. It was a peace that only God could supply. In a matter of seconds, I found myself thinking, Lord I surrender everything to You; let Your will be done. Still shaking, syllables that I have never heard before started spewing forth from my lips. As His spirit washed over me, I remember praying, God thank you, over and over again. Lord you are so good I prayed as tears flowed down my already moist cheeks. I couldn’t stop praising Him; I couldn’t stop worshiping.

I will never forget that night; it changed my life forever. That night I died to mySelf and surrendered all that I am to God. He became the longing of my heart; the desire of my soul. He showed Himself to be all that I had been searching for and so much more.

Now some two and a half years later, God is still continuing to change me. I have along way to go. I am by no means perfect or anywhere near what God has called me to be. I mess up more times than I succeed, but I continue to strive to be more like Him everyday. I want Him to have complete control of my life. I want my life to be a testimony of His love, and mercy, and grace.

I can honestly say that my decision to accept Christ and live a life totally abandoned to Him has been the single, most life-altering decision I have or will ever make.


My Hope is in the Lord
It was the summer of my senior year when I really started volunteering at my church. My days were filled with running errands, folding bulletins, and going on outreaches. I even took a leadership class called Equip and to top it all off, I went on an extremely powerful summer camp. Through all these experiences, serving became more than an obligation I felt as a Christian; it became a lifestyle that I began to embrace. I would wake up at five o’clock each morning looking forward to spending time alone with my Lord during early morning prayer at the church. I couldn’t wait to go on outreaches. At busy intersections, we would pass out water bottles to people stopped at red lights, or give people gum on their lunch break in downtown Baton Rouge. I loved helping at the church. But with the growing sense of peace I felt working at the church, came an uneasy question about my future. Do I go to college or go straight into ministry?
The air was already hot and humid as I climbed out of my red Saturn Coupe this hot summer morning. I closed my car door and walked to the front of Frank’s Restaurant where I was supposed to meet Pastor Jason. As I got to the front door I saw him getting out of his little, red Eclipse. I waited for him to cross the crowded parking lot and make his way to the front door before offering him my hand. “Good morning Tweeze,” I said grasping his hand in a firm handshake.
“Whaattss upp doggy,” he said letting go of my hand and opening the hardwood door to the restaurant. “I hope you’re hungry,” he called over his shoulder. I could tell he had been here before by the way he walked straight pass the “Please be seated” sign to a table in the back corner of the crowded room. We sat across from each other and waited in silence until our waitress came to take our drink orders. “Water,” we both said as she asked us for our drinks.
I had asked Pastor Jason the night before at Refuge if he would be my mentor and if I could meet with him soon. I told him I had some weighty questions on my mind and wondered if he could give me his opinion. We agreed to meet at Frank’s the next morning to discuss my questions.
“Here are your drinks,” the waitress said with a smile, breaking through my thoughts. “Thank you,” we replied together as she set our drinks on the table and made her way through the crowd back to the kitchen.
I was reading the menu to see what I wanted to eat when Jason asked with an intent look on his face, “So what is it you wanted to talk to me about,” I could tell he knew this was important to me and was giving me his full attention. I appreciated his apparent sincerity.
“Well, as you know I have been working at the church a lot this summer,” I said fidgeting with my napkin. “And, it’s just…I think this is the life God is calling me to; working in a church and all. I mean I love it, but I don’t know where college falls into all of this. This is something I’ve really been worrying about lately,” I said looking away. “I mean, like losing sleep kinda worrying.”
Jason leaned back in his chair with a thoughtful look. I remember thinking that he was going to give me a yes or no opinion. I was wrong. Leaning his elbows on the table, he looked me in the eye and said, “Jordan…”
“So what can I for you this beautiful morning,” our waitress asked with a cheerful smile, interrupting Jason’s words.
“French toast,” Jason said politely.
“Chocolate chip pancakes with whip cream,” I said handing her our menus.
After the waitress left, I focused my attention back on Jason, waiting for the rest of his words; waiting for his words of wisdom.
“Jordan,” Jason began again, “you have to trust God. I have seen Him do many great things in your life this summer, and He has put many questions on your heart. He’s put questions that, ultimately, only He can answer. If you seek him with all of your heart and lean not on your own understanding, He will direct your steps[i],” he said with a confident smile. He then quoted a scripture that I had already known, but hadn’t thought about till then. He said, “‘For I know the plans I have for you,’ says the Lord, ‘plans to give you a future and a hope. Then you will call upon me and come and pray to me, and I will listen to you. You will seek me and find me when you seek with all of your heart.’[ii] Jordan, just like it says, ‘you will find Him when you search with all of your heart’. Trust Him,” Jason said as the waitress brought us our food.
“Cool,” I said with a smile, “that’s just what I needed to hear. “Thank you,” I said cutting into my first pancake.
The words that Jason told me that day weren’t the straight forward answer I had hoped for, but they were exactly the ones I needed to hear. I learned that day that my hope was in the will of the Lord. I learned that if I seek Him and trust Him with all of my heart, He would work out the rest. He hasn’t disappointed me yet. In fact, at the end of this summer, I’m starting a nine month internship at my church called Elevate. I don’t know what comes after that; I guess I’ll just have to put my hope in the Lord.

[i] Proverbs 3:5-6
[ii] Jeremiah 29:11-13



So yeah, sorry about it being so long… I promise to keep up with it better in the future…