Well tonight was officially the last basketball game of my high school career. We lost tonight by thirteen against the Runnel’s Raiders. I scored only seven points tonight, one of my worst scoring games of the season. We finished the season with 20 wins and 19 losses, just barely a winning season. But I had fun. We had some hard losses and some great wins. I’ve made lots of friends and enemies over the years, but hopefully I left a lasting impression for the better. I regret losing, but I can honestly say that I laid it all on the line. I never backed down or gave up. I gave it my all; many times diving out of bounds for loose balls and taking charges under the goal. Sometimes I lost my composure, but for the most part, I played under control and with a friendly attitude.
Of course I’m sad that I won’t be playing anymore high school games, but I’ll get over it. Life goes on. One good thing that comes out of the end is the extra time I’ll have to focus on church and God. Before I would always have to go back to school at 1:30 for practice, but no more. Now, I’ll be able to get to church earlier and spend more time serving.
Of course I’ll have to work some, but that’s ok. Mr. Dan told me once that I couldn’t ask people for something I wasn’t willing to work for myself. And I believe that’s true. On the other side of that, I’ve starting compiling a list of contacts for support letters, started looking up addresses, and making flyers for my t-shirt that I’m about to start selling. I’m really excited about Elevate; in fact, I can hardly wait. I’m ready to start the next chapter in my life. But not yet. I still have to focus on my fellow students. There’s still work to be done at French Settlement. Right now, my primary focus is to build up new leaders, one in particular, Ryan Keller. He’s the future leader of FCS. It can’t die after I leave.
So the chapter in my life called high school basketball has officially been closed. What’s next? I have an idea, but I’m really just going to have to trust God.

more thoughts

I don't really know where to start. Or really what to say. I know that's hard to believe. I guess i'll start off by saying that God is just so amazing. He's teaching me so much right now. I'm really learning what it means to see people as Jesus would. I've been fortunate enough to be able to go downtown at night to hand out blankets and sweatshirts to homeless people, and really be able to see what they're going through. Granted we don't see that many of them, but it's good to be exposed. Something cool that happened last night and was a revelation to me even as i said it was that, it's not really about the blanket at all; it's about their souls. So often when we do "outreaches" we, myself included, get so caught up in getting to the next person or handing out the next pack of gum or bottle of water that we lose the real meaning for why we do what we do: to get an oppertunity to reach out to these people and show them the love of christ. The blanket meets a physical need, but what we can give them, the message of salvation, meets a spiritual, eternal need. Like i said, revelation for me.

Also, God is speaking to me more now than ever before. I'm learning to read His word with a fresh passion and understanding that i've never had before. It's like words are beginning to jump off the page at me and scream, "look at me, this is what i mean!" Something else that's cool is that i finally understand that God created me analytical for a reason. Mike Haymen spoke two saturday's ago on doing something heroic for Christ. In the course of his message he said something to the affects that God created him competitive for a reason and that God knows how he thinks. And then after the service Reggie told me something to the affect that God knows how I think; he created me that way for a reason. It's really refreshing because before i had always judged myself as being overanalytical to the point of annoying, which can still be the case, but God is now showing me that i was created that way for a reason. I believe some of that reason is how i read His word. I'm such a word person. When i read, individual words that normally wouldn't stick out to other people stick out to me: i.e. whetehr it's a verb, noun, or adjective; connotation, etc. God knows me. :)

I've also been taking LeadershipExcell; it's been super helpful. It's been affirmation and confirmation more than anything though. Each week the class has reflected what God has been showing me. It's been really challenging.

And finally, I just feel like God is beginning to break me. Break me of mySelf. I know that may sound contradictory because i'm saying it about myself, but it's true. God is showing me how big he is and how small i am. He's showing me it's not about me at all, it's not about what i can do, or my gifts, or anything; it's about Him and being obedient to Him. It's about them. Nothing else matters. I don't want anymore distractions. so many time i allow the devil to distract me after God makes a breakthrough in me, whether it be a game or a sport or a relationship, but now more. I'm pressing on to what He's calling me to. I'm leaving everything behind. NO more compromise or backsliding. No more halfhearted attempts. I don't want to settle for the mundane or the statis quo. I don't want to be casual in my walk any longer. As the Warrior's Creed says it, "my face is set. my gait is fast." I want his creed to be mine. I don't want to be just another facebook Christian that never gets out of the boat. I want my life to have more meaning than that. I want to leave a legacy. A legacy of love, surrender, and obedience.

I really can't put into words what's in my heart right now. At least not without using a ton of words which you probably don't want to read.

I can't wait for Elevate. Last Tuesday i got to sit in on a class and it was phenominal. I can't wait!!!!!!!!!!!!!

matthew 10 stuff

So i posted not too long ago and i wanted to give you an update of what's been going on since then. Well, this past post was one of the first time i had ever really journaled like my thoughts and what i thought God's thoughts were. Well, last night i went to late night and pastor mike spoke on living by faith and being heroic for Christ. It was just such an confirmation for me to hear mike talk on so many things i had just journaled about. He spoke on taking risk for Christ and dreaming big and stuff. Idk it was just really cool. Then Reggie said some stuff that confirmed some other things about belief that i had been thinking about. Like: Why can't i just take You at your word and believe.

Then i had a leadership class at the ITI and Pastor Johnny Green spoke on Moses' obedience to God. He said how even though it only took eleven days for the Israelites to get from egypt to the promise land, moses lead them where God told him to go. It wasn't the normal thing, but Moses took God at his word and obeyed.

then after leadership class i went to the prayer room from 9:30- 11:30 and had an awesome quiet time. As i let my mind wonder a little bit, i started thinking of the story of mary and martha. When Jesus came to their house Martha reverted back to the "natural" thing to do and began hosting. She did what the culture said was right at the time, whereas mary sat at Jesus's feet and drank in his presence.

I was trying to look up this passage when i stumbled across matthew 10. this is where jesus sends out his discples to preach to the jews. One of the first things that stood out to me was in verse 9-10 where jesus tells his discples not to take any money or extra clothes or anything. I thought about how all that stuff they would have brought, they probably got in from their past life as fishermen. It was something they were able to aquire in their own strength. when jesus called them out, he wanted them to leave everything behind and trust in Him for their provision instead of their own possessions. I don't know it was just really cool to think that they had to give up everything they ahd to follow him. I can gauruntee you, they didn't think this was the smartest thing to do or what most people would expect, but then again, jesus doesn't call us to do the normal thing, he calls us to be obedient to Him.

The next thing that stood out to me was when jesus said he'd send us out like "sheep among wolves". This verse was followed by phrases like, "you will be delivered to the magistrates, when they deliver you, you shall be hated, and when they persecute you." When jesus calls us out, it's not just to some picnic in the park. We will face persecution and trials and tribulations. But jesus said, "when we are delivered up, take no thought of what you shall say, for it is not you that will speak, but the spirit of the father that lives in you."

I just keep going back to the thought that i will cost me everything to follow Him. My obedience is required. I just feel like i'll find true fulfillment when i abondon everything to Him.

another thought i had was, "i can never have all of God until theirs none of me"

in short, i'm just really excited about what God is doing in my life. My finances are already starting to line up for elevate and i havent hardly done any raising yet. I can't wait for this next season in my life to begin. I'm syked..

journal stuff

So I know it’s been a while, but oh well. Life’s been really busy and really great. God has been showing me so much about Himself lately. He’s really been teaching me to love other’s with an unconditional love. To feel what they feel. I was thinking the other night about how Paul says he “mourns with those who mourns, weeps with those who weeps” and so on (paraphrase). I sat thinking about that and for me, I’m more one of those guys that is sad for those who mourn and weep. You know, I don’t ever feel it with them. I want to. I want to be broken by someone else’s brokenness. I don’t want everything to be head knowledge to me. I overanalyze everything and think through the reasons of everything. Why can’t I just have a childlike faith and take God at His Word? Why can’t I just believe? Break me Lord. Break through my reasoning and thought. Shake me to the very core of my being.

Today, about ten minutes ago, I was upstairs having quiet time, and I started thinking about God’s unconditional love and His grace and mercy and how I don’t deserve any of it, yet He gave it all freely. Then I started thinking about my school and how there are so many lost and hurting people in my school that I overlook. People that I never reach out to; never show Jesus to. Well, God began to really challenge me. This is what I wrote in my journal:

Lord, I want to have a childlike faith in You. To really take Him at His word and believe. Lord I am desperate for more of you.
There should be no boundries that hold us back from reaching out to the lost sheep. So what if he’s gay; He’s on of God’s lost sheep. So what if she’s black, or Hispanic, or poor, or rich, or homeless, or Asian, or despised; he’s/she’s one of God’s lost sheep. What gives us the right to decide who is worthy to hear God’s message. God had someone tell you and me, and He knows I’m not worthy. What right do we have? NONE!!!
It’s our job and responsibility to reach out by any means necessary. We are here for “them”. We can’t settle for the mundane or the norm. We have to be innovative in our methods, forward in our approach, strong in our faith, low on our knees, confident in prayer, and authentic in our message. We are called to display who He is to a generation that lacks eyes to see and ears to hear. We are the frontline. We go in first and come out last. NO lost shall be left unfound. NO hurting shall be left untouched. NO rejected shall be left unaccepted. NO one shall be left unloved. It is time for us to take up the call. It is time for us to get on our knees, humble ourselves before Him, and deny our own flesh and desires. No more backsliding or looking back. No more compromise or complacency. It’s time to be world changers. It’s time to be revolutionist. It’s time be obedient.

So yep, that’s what I feel God is calling me/us to. “thick”