Well I'll get right to the point. As I mentioned in my last post, I had started reading "Rachel's Tear's", it's a biography on one of the martyr's. I'll start out by saying that this book is one of the best books i've read in a while; yes the structure and grammer isn't there, but it was written by her family so it cancels out...sorry I have a pet peeve for grammer...anyway besides that, this book was amazing. It challenged me in so many areas of my life. One area of her life that stuck out to me was her reckless abandon for Christ; she put Him above everything else. She didn't care what her "friends" thought or anyone else; she only cared about pleasing her Father. She knew what she was here for and set about doing it. I can say all day long that I don't care what people think about me, which is partially true, but as I read the story of her life and the boldness of her faith, I find myself questioning what I really think. I find myself evaluating whether or not I care what other's think of me; and as i dwell on it, I find that deep down I do. From this book my conviction to find my security in Christ alone has only increased. I have to make it a priority to put what He thinks about me before what others think or believe. I don't want my way of thinking to limit Christ's influence in my life or in the life of my friends. I want to trust him completely.

Another thing I noticed about Rachel's character was her compassion for the people around her. It didn't matter who you were; you could have been the most hated person in school and she still would have reached out to you. Again, it goes back to that "I don't care what you think" attitude. I want the compassion she has. What was so great about it, which i greatly respect, is that she never really had to "preach" to someone to witness to them. The love she had for the people around her was evident to all and had a much greater impact than being 'religious'... Before reading this book, I was always under the impression that witnessing to someone was "preaching" at them. This book has greatly changed my prespective on the matter. I've realised that if I just show people true, genuine love, I'll almost never have to preach. I've also realized that the only way I can show people true, genuine love is if Christ's love is in me. Anything else would be fake and superficial...

I think one of the reasons this book has had such a profound impact on me is because it's not just a self-help book. It's doesn't just give you someone's view on a subject; this book is about this girl's life. I guess the view that I'm reading from just makes it so much more powerful.

And finally, I like to share with you a new conviction of mine about reading. If you don't know me, then i'll tell you right now, I'm an avid reader. I absolutley love to read. As soon as i'd finish one book, i'll go to another. The problem with that is that I would never give myself enough time to really apply what I've learned from these books. I'd read, say, "yep that's great" and move on. Well I don't want to do that any more. I want to find practical ways to put into practice the things I learn. So that's what I'm going to do. I got out my little notebook and a pen and im praying and thinking of ways to put this into play...so basically my soap box for this week, I'd like to encourage you to find practical ways to put into practice the Holy Spirit convicts you of...

so yeah that's it...and i'm mad that tori get's to eat sushi with my mom tonight and i don't...grrrr :(

Well, where do I begin...I guess I'll just dive right into it...first and foremost, God is amazing...there's no if, ands, or buts about it...he just is...

It's hard to describe what's been going on this past week with me...but for the sake of a testimony, i'll try...I'll start out by saying that i've been reading this book Authentic Beauty by Leslie Ludy...yes it's a chick book, and yes there is a reason I would be reading, just be patient...ok so I bought this book originaly to better understand girls and what they go through... i figured if i knew, I would be better able to encourage them and direct them to Christ, which ultimately is what i want to happen with everyone i come into contact with...anyway what I thought would be a look into the female physce actually became a challenging experience...let me explain... though this book is geared towards women, it spoke to me as well...it talked about you being the sanctuary of God and how you must continually clean it, continually gaurd it, and continually use it...I look at my life, and I see all kind of junk that lay scattered everywhere in my sanctuary, and i don't want that...i want my sanctuary to be pure and blameless without blemish...I want my God to feel welcomed and wanted...I want my God to feel adored when he thinks of me... the book also talks about living a life of intimacy and living a life of worship... as i read her story, I find myself longing for what she has...I know i've said it before, but I just long to know my king more and more everyday...I long to grow in my love and adoration for Him everyday...I long to live a life of abandonment for Him that died for me...I mean this book has challenged me in so many ways...

I was talking to Tori the other day, and I shared how God has been showing me that the Cross is more than an icon...its more than something we passingly thank God for...think about this, I mean really think about it...The son of God came down to this earth, became flesh, lived and impacted people around him, and then willingly laid down His holy, precious life for you and me...now you have to envision it...don't just think of the cross, but the broken body that also was crucified upon it...now tell me you don't want to life a life of abandonment for Him that died for you...tell me that...He wasn't just some nice guy that died for a cause, He was the son of God...he could have easily chose another way...instead He followed His Father's will and died for you and me...thus bridging the gap...tell me you can't live a life of abandonment for Him...

I think of the cross and it just inspires me to think differentlly, it inspires me to speak differentally, it inspires me to live differentally...I don't want to live like all of the other passive Christians...I want every waking moment of my life to scream to the world, that i love Jesus Christ with all my heart, soul, mind, and strength...I want everyone i come into contact with to think that that's what Jesus must have been like...I want everyone around me to feel the lack of what I have...I want to impact and influence the world around me...i want to do all of this not for me or for my glory, but for God's...I want His name to be lifted above everything else...I don't want anyone to remember who I am, but only God...I want to live a set-apart life...one like no other...

And I guess one of the other things that God has really been showing me is surrender...and I'm not talking about just saying it during worship, "God I surrender everything to you" but a life of complete surrender...a life that no one has to say is surrendered...a life that speaks for itself...God is showing me that everything in my life, must be submitted and surrendered to Him...He's showing me that if i am to live a life that is truly set-apart for Him, my whole excistance must be centered around Him...I find now more than ever the power of His conviction...I find that anything I would normally due without a second thought, God is convicted me to think of Him...everything I do must be centered around Him...every area of my life must be surrendered to Him...I want my life to be a "living sacrfice holy and acceptable" to my Lord and Savior...

I just bought a book called "Rachael Tears" a biography on the life of Rachael Scott, the student at Colombine Highschool, that was killed for her faith in Christ...I haven't read much of it yet, but i can already tell that it is going to be very good, and that it is going to challenge me to live a life of complete abandonment no matter what the consequences might be...I think i'm ready to live that way, I pray that i'm ready, I know that through God's strength I am...

I can't wait to see what God is going to do tommorrow with our healing hands club and what he's going to do through chad daniel tommorrow night at Refuge...I'm anticipating and expecting for God to move like He's never moved before...I know I won't be disappointed...

Well thank you all for sticking with me and continuing to read even when I get on my "soap box" stay strong in the Lord....

In Christ,
Jordan

Ambassadors of Christ!!!

Ok I guess I should start out by saying that, though this post was inspired by my quiet time tonight, Tori also played a part in the making of this post...being as she imformed me today that i was due for another...so this one's sorta for you Tori.. I'll start from the begginning...tonight cody and I were playing fooshball, if that's how you spell it, well anyway, I was playing ok, but i kept losing...eventually after three consecutive losses I was "hot" for loss of a better word...basically i was in a horribly angry bad mood...after the third game i decided that i didn't need to play anymore, but instead go have quiet time...so yeah that's what I did... From my little tirad, God convicted and showed me that when it comes to sports and competition, I have a slight anger problem...so i've come up with a solution...well actually i read it in a book, go figure... everytime i find myself getting angry i'm going to begin to pray for a lost friend...it's called the below the belt move...oh yeah that's right... so yeah in my quiet time i was reading in the Max Q book, and it had a scripture that i found amazing...2Corinthians 5:20 "we are therefore Christ's ambassadors, as though God were making His appeal through us. We implore you on Christ's behalf: be reconciled to God." isn't that amazing we are here to be represenatives of christ to present God's appeal...wow...but that's not the best part...i kept reading and Paul was writing about all the things he's gone through for christ...and at the very bottom he says that he has "nothing, and yet possesses everything"...I want to be like that...he just doesn't care about anything but the will of His father...I find myself praying more and more for his will, like i don't want to do anything that doesn't align with His will...and the more i strive to be like Christ, the more i see the devil trying to bring me down...mainly with distractions... ok and finally i kinda forgot about this until now, but it's super important...yesterday at school this guy david came and told me that his dad was diagnosed with cancer in the esaphogus, or however you say it, and i felt that god wanted me to pray for him...but i didn't...i stood there and let him walk away because i cared what people thought of me...i knew it was wrong as soon as he left, but by then it was too late...so i determined in my mind that bigolly i would pray for him the next day...so the first thing i did when i got to school was walk up to him...ask him if i could pray for him...and i went for it...it was a very releasing experience...like as soon as i began to pray for him, i could feel other people's eyes on me...but amazingly I didn't care...in fact, i wanted them to see...i wanted them to know there was something different about me...i wanted them to know that i love my god enough not to care what they thought....i wanted them to know that God was going to do something amazing in our school this year...i wanted it...yes i was scared, but God gave me the strength...it's kinda like that church sayingn goes, "you may do things scared, but you'll never do things alone," I can honestly tell you that iwas scared today, but with even more truth i can say i was not alone...i couldn't have been...there is noway i would do something like that on my own accord...it had to be God...and that's my story and i'm sticking to it...lol... well that's me for ya...oh and if the first part of this entry sounds all crazy, it's because my friend mickey kept talking to me as i was trying to post...lol...so yeah...

my week since the 9th...

Well I'll dive right into this one...last wednesday we started school...Finally...ever since summer camp i've been waiting for school to start...you know i didn't want to lose the fire...but as it turns out...God is amazingly faithful...this year, the fire actually grew to a blaze...for the past week i've really been seeking HIm...I want Him to be my only source of comfort, my only source of hope, my only source of strength...and as i seek these things, i feel that He's telling me that He is, but I first must trust Him implicitly...and I want to...oh how i want to...but it's hard sometimes...i've sat on the throne of my life for so long its hard to kick mySelf off of it...but i know i must...so God's giving me the strength...

I want to know HIm like i've never known Him before...I don't ever want to lose my passion for Him...it's easy sometimes to get distracted by the things of this world...i.e. the hastle of school, the crazyiness of a social life, or whatever it may be...but I know that God is asking me to focus on Him alone right now...not a grade or a relationship, but Him...Oh how i want to know Him like David did...I want God to convict me and change me...i don't want to ever be the same again...as i listen to Hillsongs new cd, i find myself praying along with the song..."in my life be lifted high, in my world be lifted high, in my love be lifted high" I want every single thing I do or say to lift my lord higher...everything i do to bring Him praise...He's asking me to surrender...I've said I've done it before, but never with such motivation behind me...before it was always a head knowledge, but now, i desire it with all of my heart...i read books of christians that lived soled out lives, and I want that...I don't want to live the mondane...i want to live a spontanious life for Christ...one that is a beacon to the world around me...I want to bring my God praise...

So back to school...I'm so excited about it starting back up...I can't wait for our Healing Hands ministry to get started back up...i talked to our counsler today about it and we are going to be much more involved...we're handing out flyers and everything to get everyone's attention...the first week this girl jamie is giving her testimony from camp and following right after her, I'll be asking everyone "in" the club, regular attenders, to be back next week, which is when I'll "charge" them with what God has spoke to me since summer camp...I can't wait....

Oh and of course the 11th was my birthday, and me and a bunch of friends from French Settlement and parkvied, and of course i couldn't forget Tori the hustler..jk...though she did shoot some amazing shots....well we all went to celebration stationa nd had a blast....the next day was the 12 andI was supposed to get my tattoo...it was really cool looking...but on the morning of the 12th iwas praying about it and felt that God wanted me to hold off on it...i'd be lying to you if i said i was happy, but after talking to my mentor...i followed God's leading, though i didn't know the reason for the conviction at the time...now this is cool...when i got back to codys house later that day and told his dada ,nonbeliever, i didn't get it he was very excited... as it turned out he had been praying that i wouldn't get my tattoo...so yeah that was kinda cool...sorta a testimony....yay...

ok so i know it was kinda long and not very coherent especially the last paragraph...but yeah thats been my week...

oh sorry one more thing...Refuge is going to be awesome tommorrow...

ok now i'm d0ne...

cool week

Hey ya'll there are a few things that have happened to me in the past week...we'll start off with the most importa: I got all my hair cut of; just joking, that's not the most important thing...but close...

Seriously though, last night at like midnight Julia, our German foreign exchange student, got here. It was really cool waiting there for her with everyone. Though she is very different than me, I believe we'll both learn alot from each other...so I guess all in all, i'm excited about this.

And finally, service tonight, what can I say; it was amazing...there was so much energy in the sanctuary...I know most people don't care that much for junior high students, myself included...lol...but tonight was awesome, and they definitely played a large role in that...what was even more amazing than all the energy, though, was the intense presence of God...I mean I even felt Him in the Tech booth...lol...but seriously, tonight was crazy... : ) Tonight really challenged me to pursue Him in my quiet time, like we all pursued Him tonight. It also got me even more fired up about school and FCS...well that's about it ya'll late.

Yeah this one was long in coming!!!

Ok so as you know, I haven't been on the internet in like 40 days and can I say alot has happened in that time...So I beg you to bear with me as I try to communicate all that I've learned and done in that time...

I guess firstly I would have to talk about how summer camp impacted me...To say the least, camp was amazing...Pastor Adam is the man; he's such a good speeker/communicator and he knows how to fire you up...so basically that's what camp did for me...it fired me up...it made me realize even more that christianity was never and will never be about me, but only about my Lord...It convicted me "again" to abandon myself to Him, surrender everything, and live completly for Him, guided by Him, devoted to Him...It got me fired up about school, which is something I'm normally not...I was ready for school to start like the day we got back from camp...but alas its only 4 days away... :-) And finally it convicted me on dedication...I'm a hot cold kinda guy most of the time...and can i tell you that is not the way to be...when I get something in my head I devote all of my energy to doing it...the only downside is the thing i'm on fire about normally doesn't last that long...kinda like a phase....God convicted me that He is not a phase...He is my life, my everything, my all-in-all...so needless to say camp showed me some things about myself...

After camp HPC had VBS which was totally crazy...on one of the days the kids from the Green group actually tackled me and brought me to the ground...I was scared I was going to smush one of them...lol... Camp really made me appreciate parents...I honestly don't know how they do it...I love kids and all, but this camp definitely showed me that I am not ready to be a parent...way to much work...but it also inspired me...it showed me how great kids are and what great parenting and great leadership can do in the life of a kid...I think what i enjoyed the most about camp was seeing all those little kids jump up and down to those corny songs...lol...

Oh and between those two events, I have also been helping out at the annex, going on Serve Team outreaches, and attending Equip classes...all of which have stretched and grew me...reaching out to people on the street has given me a desire to be bold and not care what people think...the first time was kinda scary, but after that i got the hang of it and had no problem walking up to complete strangers...working at the annex has given me an appreciation for all of the many people that it takes to run a church...kinda like the whole Corinthians "one body is made up of many parts"...I forgot to mention that obviously I wasn't the only Equip student working at the annex, there where a whole slew of us...the point i'm making is that one person in particular taught me something that I think is invaluable...that person taught me what it is to be a humble servant...what it means to serve and to expect no recognition or praise for the job...that person taught me what a true servant looks like...thank you...and finally the Equip classes have grow me as a leader...the skills that I have learned during this class will, no doubt, be invaluabe as I progress and begin to lead people...the book T.O. gave us, "max X" has really stretched me in how I influence those around me...

But I'd have to say that what taught me the most wasn't Camp, Equip, Serve Team, or working at the Annex, but the time I spent with God while not being on the internet...by not focusing on myspace and all the other junk that has infected the web, I have been able to refocus my attention on the only thing that really matters: Jesus Christ, my Lord and Savior...I think one scripture that has really stuck out to me in all this time would have to be Colossians 3:17 "and whatever you do, whether in word or deed, do it all in the name of the Lord Jesus, giving thanks to God the Father through Him." man talk about a stab in the chest...in all the things I do or say...it really makes you step back and evaluate how you act, what you say, and what you think...its funny how that one, small, simple word can be so weighty: all...Everything...wow...I can honestly say that I have been trying to live out this scripture...and i can honestly say that I fail more than I succeed, but by God's grace and strength i get back up and keep pressing forward...

I encourage everyone to stay dedicated to the call of Christ...stay dedicated to seeking and pursuing Him above all else...it's hard, I know...I've failed way more times than I've succeeded, but its funny, Christ always finds a way of getting my attention again...He's very persistant...but don't make Him chase you...we should be the ones running after Him...He's given us so much and all He asks in return is Total Surrender...I'm ready...are you?...I want His will for my life above anything else...I want the thing called Self in me to be crucified with Christ to where it's no longer me people see, but Christ...I want to be so full of His Spirit that I'll be walking down the road and I'll hear the voice of God tell me to tell the lady on the street next to me somehting that will bring her closer to God...I want people to long to know Christ the way I know Christ just by being by me, not for me but for Him...I long for the day when He welcomes me home with those sweet words, "well done, good and faithful servant"