NO COMPROMISE

Well lately I've been reading this really good book on the life of Keith Green called "no compromise". It is a slammin book...i've been learning so much from it. The book starts out with him on a search for a higher spiritual truth; the problem is that he goes through all kinds of things on his search, from the occult to drugs and beyond. It's really sad. But when He finally finds the answer in Christ, he chases after Him with total abandonment. His convictions are so strong...he doesn't want anything to come in the way of his relationship with Christ. He comes to the point where he is willing to give up the life of his wife and child to please the Lord.

Man I want that...i want my life to be completely and soley His. I don't want there to be any desires in my heart that are not from my Father. I want everything in me to be pointed to Christ. Every action or thought i have must be for His will...Gosh i want His will in my life so bad...i don't want to do anything against His will..i don't want to do anything that has me in it. everything i do should be for Him and for his purposes. I just really want to grow deeper in Him...I want more intimacy with Christ than i've ever had... I want more sacrifice than ever before...I want to know him more everyday...I want everything in me to point to Christ. I don't want people to see me when they look at me...I want to hear His voice in my life...i just can't put into words my desire to know Him...it's like there's a burning inside of me that wants to come out...I want to be completley changed by Christ; Lord place the coal on mylips and purify me...I don't want their to be anythign of me left when Your done...God take me life; take everything within me: my desires, fears, goals, future; Lord take everything...i give it to you...Father help me crucify the Self within me; Lord crucify my desires and hopes... Lord you are my Hope and future...God i give you it all...Lord take my life if it's required...I am yours...

I guess kinda going along the lines of my future I'd like to let ya'll know what's going on in my head...I want so badly to affect people for Christ; almost to the point where i don't even know if i want to go to college...I want to go into ministry and go overseas and everything....i just don't know right now what God's will is for me in this area of my life...I want to do whatever it is that he commands me to, i just don't know what it is right now...God's really testing my trust and faith in Him right now...

Well i guess that's aboutit for now...of course there's more stuff goingon in my life right now, i'm just not going to tell you about it yet... :) sorry................................well i love you guys and thanks so much for being an encouragement to me...ya'll really make me want to be more like Christ...thank you so much....

in christ,
jordan

don't know what to title this one so i won't title it anything...

I was going to type something else, but as i sat down to type the words were lost to me...so you know what... God is awesome...that's all that matters. I'm learning that it doesn't matter what i'm going through or how I feel, the only thing that matters is praising God. I had a really good quiet time tonight with God. God has really been challenging me on surrendering everything to Him. Not just a few things but everything...my hopes, my dreams, my relationships...and with college right around the corner, it is a scary thing, surrendering one's hopes and dreams...of course i don't really know what i want to do with my life...i've always wanted to write and go into ministry, but i guess i'll get a degree...i'm still praying about it...

God has also been showing me that if i want more intimacy with Him, it is going to require more sacrifice...more time in His presence, less time doing other things...I don't want anything to take away from the intimacy i get to spend with Him...

God has also been teaching me to trust Him no matter what my circumstances may be or what I think i want...if it's not His will, i don't want it, even if i think i do...if that makes since....

so basicallyl allthat rambling to say that God is amazing and I'm excited abuot growing closer to Him...I want to know Him more and more...no matter what it cost...and i find that the more i surrender to His will, the more freedom I have...

so yeah God is awesome...I love Him alot and that's about it...

in christ,
jordan

sorry about it beeing so long

ok sorry you guys, I know it's been a long time since i've posted. I guess I've just been kinda busy. Between basketball practice, work, lifegroups and church, and writing scholarship essays, i haven't really had time to post or do much of anything. This leads me to the first thing that God has been showing me: SLOW DOWN, I've been trying to do too much. I've been neglecting things that are important and eternal for things that are temporary. I have also neglected another important activity: sleep. yep yep, with all the other things that "demanded" my attention, i've neglected a very vital part of my day. Which in turn causes me to be grouchy....but alas God, as always, grabbed ahold of me. He's taught me again to submit everything to Him and trust Him with it all...this is especially true partaining to college and scholarships and stuff...i've been feeling like i'm running out of time to make up my mind on a college and stuff and then there's the scholarships...He's shown me to just trust Him and pray for His will...I want His will....He's also shown me that if I desire more intimacy with Him it will require more sacrifice by Me...i can't go deeper at the level i'm at...i must continue to die to myself allowing Him more control of me life...so that's what he's teaching me...trust, dependence, and surrender...

Oh there is one reallly cool thing that is happening at my school in my english class...we're doing this free write thing where the teacher gives us a word and we have to right for 10 minutes...well i love to write, and the beauty of it is i can write about anything dealing with that word, read it before the class, and they have to say thank you at the end...i defintely see a ministry oppertunity here...i have a captive audience...yay...so yeah pray that God will give me a creative way to relate His message to those around me through this....

well that's about it for now...i'll be keeping ya'll posted more than what i've done in the past...so yeah..i'm excited...i love god and jesus...and i want to see my school changed....so that's about it..

in christ,
jordan

I never really know how to start a post...so i guess as normal...i'll just "dive right into it" as i've seemed to have coined rather often...but before i start i have one question, how come sometimes i can hit the enter button to start another paragraph but when i try other times it goes down to publish or whatever...? just a question...so yeah all ideas will be seperated by elipsies or however you spell it...ok so here we go...i'll start off by saying that i read tori's blog today and was totally blown away...everything she said, including what Jamie and Amy Philips both said about sometimes not feeling it or whatever...well i'll go on ahead and give you a peek inside my head...Why is it that sometimes you feel so on fire for God it's addictive, but others you can't feel Him anywhere...you try to pray but your prayers come out hollow...you try to listen, but if seems useless...? Well these where questions that I was dealing with last night as i tried to have my quite time...everything i prayed came out hollow, devoid of emotion...It felt like i was just going through the motions...I just couldn't, im my limited view, couldn't get into His presence, but i didn't want to give up...I don't really know where the transition took place, but as i found myself thinking of a life without His presence I began to weep...i thought of the hollow feeling i had now and then thought of life and eternity this way; it was more than i could bare...i began to think of how my heart and actions were keeping me from God's presence, and i began to lose control of my emotions...i don't want to live a life for myself anylonger...I don't want anything to take precidence over my Lord...all of the activities that i was pursuing where pointless...all the stress i had created by procrastinating on my homework was pointless...life without His presence is utterly pointless...I never want to feel that way again...I think last night was really a turning point for me in my walk with Christ...that feeling i had, reallly made me evaluate what was important, and anythingthat doesn't lead my closer to christ is insignificant, utterly pointless...I just don't care anymore for myself...i don't want my life to be about me; i am insignificant, it is only Christ inside of me that matters...I have come to the point where i am completely willing to give up anything and everything to follow Him...His will is my one true desire...nothing else matters...what's also really cool about last night, was that like tori, i flipped open to Psalms 46:10 "be still and know that I'm God", how cool is that...with that being said, i would like to add some more of what's goingon in my life, but this thought will run together with my last because i can't skip lines for some reason...anyway here we go.................there that'll do........It seems that everytime I really make a break through, the devil throws another thing at me...this time it's anger...I've never really had a problem before with it except on rare occasions on the court, but now, it's a regular emotion for me to experience during practice of all things...and unfortuantelly i'm not talking about just being a little mad, i wouldn't go as for as rage, but it's not too too far off...i'll mess up once or twice and then it's over...i just lose it...the other day i ended up counting otlike 150 trying to refocus and get myself under control...I hate being angry, but then again sometimes i like it...at least at the time...but mostly i hate it...i hate that it compromises my witness, i hate that i lose control of myself, but mostly i hate that my actions are an outward expression of my heart...i don't want anger to dwell in my heart...i want only christ to live there...so yeah, i've talked to tweeze about it and set up accountability, so hopefully with much prayer and accountability we'll be able to deal with it...so yeah that's what has been going on in my life recently... : ) in christ, jordan

a post after a post... : )

Ok I don't really know what to say today...I know you've come to expect something profound from me, but i don't think it's going to happen today...

I guess i'll start off by saying that the other day i met with tweeze about some things, and he suggested i get one of those one year bibles...well i did and it's been great reading...before this, i've never really read out of the old testement, but with this new bible, it kinda forces you too. well i've been reading out of Job, and i've learned some things...or at least been convicted of things...I think the thing that God is trying to show me from Job is not to become proud no matter how passionate and on fire for Him you are...pride is pride...

And is it just me or was tweeze's message last wednesday incredible or what...it challenged me on so many levels...I mean i want to start a revolution in my school, i mean just the other day i spoke at Healing Hands on not wasting your time, making the most of every oppertunity, and stepping out...i know God is going to do something incredible in my school this year, but i also want him to do soemthing incredible inside my heart...i want to be completley transformed by Him...I don't want to get distracted by anything or anyone...my life is His...

Another thing God has been showing me is to take advantage of every oppertunity i have to share Christ with someone, not just in words, but in deed also...He's showing me that there are plenty of oppertunities to be Jesus to many many people, i just have to look for it and act upon it...another thign God is showing me, kinda going along those lines, is that I shouldn't ahve to be convicted to do soemthign i know i should do...

oh and just a side not of something that is cool...the other day a guy by the name of Jeremy Simon, the youth pastor for the Freedom Churh in coyell called me and iformed me that they wanted to provide donouts every wednesday morning for Healing Hands...way cool...i'm super syked...

and i cant wait for the water outreach today, it's been like forever since i've been on one...wahoo....ok i think that's it...if i think of something later i'll just post again...

in christ,
jordan